Well gentlemen it is time………..time for what you might ask? This mission should you choose to accept it is one that will surly result in trouble, women with little or nothing on, Florida sun, maybe a few arrests, hopefully a big hot tub party, and definitely drunken maddness. It has come to my attention that the Kappa Luau will be held in Tallahassee on April 21, 2001 and in the spirit of B-306 I must declare that the "Boys Will Be Back In Town!" Now some of you might be saying "been there done that" and I would agree but I must say that we have never been there and done that like we are about to do it (don’t know if that made since but I don’t care).
Here’s the plan:
1.) Boys fly in to Tally Ho on Thursday night
2.) Boys attend CPA or some other establishment were the liquor flows freely
3.) Boys get up on Friday and play golf at one of Tally Ho’s finer regional golf courses (Chap this is for you because I am going to plant my foot up you candy ass)
4.) Following Golf Boys buy chicken, beans, potato salad, water melon, beer, rum (Cocunut, 151, spice and whatever else they have), and all the fixing to create a day/night long Barbecue of eminence proportions.
5.) Now I’m sure you are asking where will we hold the Barbecue well I have one of two venue in mind either the younger Tate’s expansive bachelor pad or the younger Jackson house the "home of the Stupid Girls" (p.s. Boys plan to be residing at either of these places so I hope the owners are clearing of the couches).
6.) At some point during the Barbecue boys begin to make the 151 rum punch which shall be the key to our success the following day.
7.) During Barbecue countless girls and friends are sure to drop by and join the festivities. Notes to boys: a.) Rico I’m sure that during the barbecue countless girls will come to try and achieve all of their fantasies by banging one Ric Simon the key here is to shorten the "owe me some ass list" and delete names rather than add them. b.) All other boys pick members of the Rico fan club off and close the deal with them as he will certainly drop the ball as he always does. (I don’t think I should have to mention the failed three-peat but I will because I’m a jerk).
8.) Boys make a triumphant return to Clyde’s and turn it out like we know how to…… B-306 style. a.) Note to Boys: I’m sure that during this part of the mission we will undoubtedly run into some obstacles namely: Mike macking to some Asian Girl, Mr. Simon kicking it with some melanin deficient girl all night who is a 5.5 at best, Eric looking mean as shit and some girl wanting to fuck him because of it, Granvel playa hatin (don’t hate the playa hate the game), Kong being Kong (like I said don’t be a monkey be a Gorilla), Hopson asking some girl countless probing questions about her life in an effort to get ass, Gerald getting drunk and loosing his glasses, Jamal jumping on a table and cussing out the DJ, begging no demanding more Hip Hop and all the while grinding with some chick, which undoubtedly leaves him with back pain in the morning. We all know that these thing will happen but we must persevere because we must keep our focus on the real goal the Luau.
9.) After Clyde’s who knows but this is the point when it starts to get interesting. Oh yeah and as the boys depart J-Jackson is sure to be heard saying "Nice Hat, Nice Hat" or "How many leopards had to Die"
10.) Saturday the Luau-List of things we need:
a.) 151 Rum Punch (enough to last all day) this will be hard to estimate but I feel confident that we can do it.
b.) Lawn Chairs- these are the key to the day because they will allow us to sit, focus and concentrate on what we came to do………….get drunk and watch the asses pass buy.
c.) Big straw hats- Why because I just want to look like a pimp and I think this will help.
d.) Aspirin for Hopson’s hangover that he will undoubtedly have because he is old but that’s OK because he will be the first to collect social security and then we can all crash at his crib.
e.) The Stupid Girls for entertainment why……. because their entertaining…………see last years tape…….specifically when the jeans became shorts…………classic material.
f.) Drink
g.) Drink
h.) Drink
i.)Drink
j.) Drink
k.) Drink
l.) Drink
m.) Drink
11.) Possibly if they can get up the boys play golf Sunday morning.
12.) The boys depart Tally Ho having left their mark on the city and FAMU once again. Should you choose to accept this mission the agency will disavow all knowledge of your existence. Let me know what’s the deal (your thoughts and opinion on the plan) by hitting me back and feel free to add activities to the list as you see fit. Peace J-Jackson the man with the master plan.
4 hours ago