The Air Up Here, Vol. II - Madd Issues Edition

To the millions and millions of adoring fans,

I know fo' sho' that I'm going to have to stop with that intro, because by the time that y'all finish reading this piece the only people that will still be talking to me are mys sister and brother (and that's only because Mom would lay the smack down on them if they didn't, since they are my siblings and all). Anyway, I had grand plans of writing a deeply introspective piece about my impending 25th birthday (this actually was not going to be a plug for it, but by the way it's on 9/22/02 in case you want to send money). I was going to write about the life changes that I have been going through and the hopes, dreams, fears, and trepidations that I have been experiencing. The whole what do I want to do with my life? Where do I want to live? Who do I want to share it with? You know thoughts of having a family of my own. However life has a funny way of interfering with even the best laid plans of mice and men (shout out to John Steinbeck). Yep, life has a funny way of imposing its will on us all and thus even changing the topic of this column. So since I had such a spirited response the last time, and I know you all have been waiting for me to write more; I present to you the all relationship edition. Ladies and Gentlemen, let the hate mail begin to fill up my inbox.


My high school history/philosophy teacher Mr. G., who bore an uncanny resemblance to an infamous former Stanford professor (think: hooded man on Time magazine cover) was always giving us advice on life in some form or another. Being once divorced and remarried he said that getting married because you love someone is greatly overrated. He was like, love clouds your mind and makes your thoughts all random. Basically he said, "Love Makes You Stupid." He said the next time he got married he was marrying for money. Hey, at least that is practical. Of course, he was being facetious in his comments, but that line about love dropping your SAT scores stayed with me. So with that preface here are a few more unsolicited comments that I have for everyone in relationships, pursuing relationships, and even those jaded individuals like myself who as the title of this letter says have . . . Well, you can read the title yourself.


1. Must Be The Money. That famous R&B superstar and former Florida State defense back Deion Sanders made a song during the mid-90's that uttered those words. "Must be the money/that's turning them on/must be the money/you know I can't go wrong." So my question to you all is "What significance does money play in having a good relationship?" Could you be happy with some that is financially challenged with a good heart or in the words of Morris Day, are you looking for "Donald Trump black version"? I'll just put that question out there and write my opinion at a later date.

2. Ask Questions. This is one that I have gotten in trouble for over and over again. Anyone who has spent any extended amount of time with me knows that I live by the mantra "Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to." I have a tendency to take this statement one step further and I do not ask questions unless I have a decent idea of the answer that is going to come out of the mouth of whomever I am talking to. I don't know, maybe I watched one too many episodes of "Perry Mason" and "L.A. Law" growing up. However, I've come to the realization that there might be a slight flaw in my logic. Yes, even AIR can be mistaken once. While this philosophy might be perfect for negotiating a business deal or cross-examining a witness, it's not all that great when you are trying to get to know someone on a personal level. First, in a court of law there are rules that govern the free exchange of information between parties. Each side is mandated to turn over information/evidence that might be pertinent to the case. Therefore it is easy to assume that you would be intimately familiar with the other side. However, to get the same amount of information from someone you are trying to date you might have to run extensive background checks by hiring a professional or asking friends of that person about them. In doing so you run the risk of alienating that individual and drawing their ire. Most people would rather you just come to straight to them. Second, by not asking questions you run the risk of creating your own little fantasy world based on hearsay, assumptions, and delusions rather than on fact. Therefore, when like The Roots last album, "things fall apart" you are left to ponder "What the f^%k just happened!" Third and finally, if you knew what someone was going to say before they said it life would just be boring. What would be the use of getting to know someone in the first place? It's just a thought.

3. Brothers Got Gifts. Since I am like the mayor of The Friend Zone, I hear women saying all the time that their man isn't sensitive to their needs, he doesn't show any emotion/puts up facade, or he hasn't done anything nice/sweet/thoughtful (fill in the blank) for me lately. Unbeknownst to you all is the fact that nothing (except maybe kickin back with his boys on Sunday watching football while drinking a brew) makes a guy happier than seeing his woman happy. Like the title of that popular book, which I will get around to reading one of these days states, men actually do cry in the dark whether they admit it or not. By cry, I'm not talking about literally boo-hooing (although I've seen some of you guys do it, but I'm not going to put you on Front Street right now). What I mean is that guys actually will with their close associates sit around and discuss relationships. Most even have their own networks in which they exchange ideas on how to surprise the women in their lives. However, my lady friends, many times you don't see the fruition of their plans; because like guys have the tendency to do, you too find ways to "F" it up. Case #1. For no particular reason your man ask you get dressed up on a Tuesday night. And you think, "Nothing is poppin' off around the city on Tuesday. Plus, if we go out I'll miss the season premiere of 'Frasier,' I gotta have my must see TV." So you tell him why doesn't he just come over and order a pizza. Little did you know that your man has called in all types of personal favors and gotten you all the best table at Le Circe. Your man is madd salty because he now owes personal favors to his boy who knows somebody, who knows somebody, who knows somebody, who knows the head waiter at Le Circe. So he retreats into typical guy mode and says that's the last time I go out my way to do something nice for her. Case #2. You can feel free to steal this if you like. It's a little harder to pull off now in the days of tighter airport security. However, depending upon the layout of the airport (ones in which the person picking you up can get as close as possible to the arrivals terminal work the best) and with a little planning it can work for you. Like my negotiation's trainer always said, "this is being offered to you, as a bonus, free of charge for just showing up today." I guess in your case it's being offered for taking the time to wade through this incredibly long email. Anyway, let's say that your guy is coming back from a trip and has asked you to pick him up at the airport. Because you are his angel and his best friend, he has bought you two dozen roses. He solicited twelve friendly passengers around him to each take a rose. He then went through the trouble of describing his "sunshine" to them and asking them if they would give her the rose while they are on their way to baggage claim. Had the other passengers been a little resistant he was prepared to tell them that he was going to propose [Note To The Guys: use only as a last resort. It shouldn't be that hard to find twelve people to help you out, but if you can't you should cut your number to six. You tell them you are going to propose and they might want to stick around to watch, that would be a bad thing]. Moving on, so ladies here you are waiting at the baggage claim in anticipation because all these wonderful strangers have been giving you roses when your man finally shows up with the second dozen. You think that life can be beautiful sometimes and then you all depart together. You like that don't you? I painted that picture so perfect you can hang it up in your room. That is how it would have gone had your man actually gone through with his plan. See, he remembered that the last time that you picked him up that you were in a foul mood. You didn't want to come all the way the gate. Why did you have to come to baggage claim? Why couldn't he just call you on the cell when he stepped outside? Yep, another sparkling example of your guy's creativity down the drain, because he had those flashbacks and was like, "nah baby, I'm not gonna be able to it." Once again this is just my take because I know in the end you all going to DO WHAT YOU DO.


CD REVIEWS
1. The Fix by Scarface. The raps on this album are so addictive that the liner notes are literally packaged in a nickel bag. Mr. Brad Jordan comes back with what is probably his best album since Mr. Scarface Back. Who else but the Face Mob could get Jay Z and Nas to appear on the same album. Face brings a little something for everyone with radio friendly "My Block" and "Guess Who's Back." He delivers that traditionally southern pimp groove on "The Fix," throws in something for the ladies on "Heaven," and even does a ghetto hymn with "Someday." I'm sure my Deep South (TX, LA, AR, MS, TN, AL) crowd already has this album, so I'm talking to the rest of y'all. If you were nodding your head with that old Geto Boys "My Mind Playin' Tricks On Me" then you will want this album.

2. In Search Of . . . by N.E.R.D. For all of you all expecting the typical Neptune's fare that they have produced for Britney Spears, Jay Z, The Clipse and every other artists on popular radio today; I can say that this album is not for you. If you want their tried and true rip-off of Vanity's "Nasty Girl" beat, I repeat, this album is not for you. However if you are looking for some futuristic George Clinton meets Outkast in a British 60's spy movie type stuff, then run to store and cop this one right now. It's kind of hard to describe the album. You don't listen to it, you just experience it. Although many of the songs deal with drug use, they never glorify it. "Bobby James" tells of a troubled teen that starts using to deal with social problems. He, however, encounters even more perils as he begins the downward spiral deeper and deeper into addiction. “Lap Dance” is another standout song on the album. It compares our government officials to the dancers at your local strip club. Basically it states that if you wave enough money or wield enough influence you too can get your politicians to give you a lap dance in the form of political favors. As I said, the album just has to be experienced. It does have more of a rock edge to it, so if that's your cup of tea pick it up today.


BOOK REVIEW
1. A Do Right Man by Omar Tyree. I have to thank Lorieal for recommending two years ago that I read this book. All you have to do is change the protagonist's name, which is Bobby Dallas to AIR, and you have the story of my life up to the mid-20's. This story captures what it's like to be a young, southern, single male in that transition phase from college to career. It also deals with many of the issues I raised back in the "I Got Beef" edition right after Easter, so I won't bring those up here. Anyway, I'm not going to tell anything about this book, except for the fact that I read it in two days, I've read it three times, I got the author to sign my copy, and I went out and bought two more of his books based upon how much I liked this one. So go get it, read it, and then call me up so we can discuss it.


SHOUT OUTS
This issue marks the one year anniversary since I retired The Life & Times . . . and switched to the new format. So much has transpired during what seems to be such a short amount of time, unfortunately not all good. So here is a shout out to some of the events changed our lives and some of the people that we've lost along the way.

1. Aaliyah, a bright star that went supernova way too soon. She accomplished more in three albums than some artists do over their entire careers. I still get chills when I listen to "It's Whatever."

2. Let's not forget about Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes who was the driving force behind many on TLC's hits in the 90's. Once the poster child for impetuousness, she had matured into someone deeply concerned about humanitarian issues.

3. Let's remember Dave Thomas. Yes, the founder of Wendy's, who practically allowed all college students to have a good meal with the 99-cent menu. More than being just a successful business man, Dave's foundation helped to raise awareness for the 134,000 foster children available for adoption and helped to make adoption more affordable.

4. One time for Tupac Shakur. It doesn't seem like it's been six years since I was out on The Set back at FAMU and word quickly spread that he was gone. I know some people viewed him as a low-life thug. Others called him a ghetto prophet, the voice in the wilderness that would raise up the hip hop generation. His music was similar to the drink "thug passion" he talked about in his songs. Kind of like one part street fantasy mixed with one part political prose, however it was told with so much conviction that it touched the hearts of everyone from the inner city to the burbs. Believe it or not it almost felt like I lost a friend that night. So next Friday after work, I'll probably get my car detailed. Then I'll roll down the windows, open the sunroof, pop in that All Eyez on Me (Disc 2), put it on track #7, and ride one time for my fallen friend.

5. I can't forget about Justin Wilson. For all of us that grew up in Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, and probably Arkansas and Tennessee, we can remember his cooking shows coming on every Saturday morning. The humorous Cajun chef known for measuring all ingredients in his hands, putting cayenne pepper in everything that he cooked, and of course his trademark saying, "I gare-rohn-tee!" will be greatly missed.

6. Words cannot express what happened that day last September. A nation that was virgin to the threat on violence perpetrated by a foreign power upon its shores was suddenly violated. I can't express the lose, the grief, the agony, the suffering. But like the mystical phoenix arising from its own ashes, the country came back stronger, more resolved, more united . . . let's not lose that spirit. However, while protecting our own interest, let us not turn a blind eye nor deaf ear to plight of others across the globe. Do not let fear cloud our minds with strictly parochial views and xenophobic ideals.


I would like to thank everyone that gave me feedback on the last column. Personally I thought it was not one of my better efforts, but it seemed to help or at least entertain some of you. Your feedback not only helps me to write better columns, but also to become a better person. Okay, let me qualify that. At least it helps me see a different perspective whether I choose to agree with it or not is a whole other story. I hope this finds you in great spirits and I look forward to seeing some of you in Nashville for the MBA conference and others in the "A" for the Classic. Until next time, much love, take care, and God Bless.


--AIR © 2002


p.s. I am currently working on my manuscript tentatively titled "YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT." It will feature even more of totally unsolicited opinions, commentary, and poetry (yeah, I do that too). Additionally I'm also working on a slightly semi-autobiographical work which I will probably have to turn into a fictional book, because I do at least want my brother and sister to keep talking to me.