That's All I Have to Say About That (Rio Recap)

Return from RIO:

So the boy are back from Brazil. How was it the readers may ask? Well the Boys: That Damn Ric Simon ("He won’t wife them but he might light their wrist"), Jamiz ("The New Rick James"), Davis ("I went with an agenda and as soon as I got there I threw it all out the window"),PJ (the tour guide), Kong (also known in some circles as Killer) with a guest appearance by Jumoke ("the life saver") all had a great time. Oh yeah and E Troupe was there to keep us in line.
First lets start with some basic take-aways from the trip:
Brazil has by far the best looking women in the world, dimes are a dime a dozen if you know what I mean. A warning to the ladies in the US that like to act a fool when dealing with Brothas. At some point Brothas WILL start import these girls and when that happens you better watch out because you think good brothas are scarce now, well just wait (this has been your public service announcement).

1.) I’m sure TDRS will cover this but the URS must be revised or at least recalibrated when in Brazil.

2.) Up until going to Brazil I never understood why guys were speechless when I ask them how their trip was……………well I understand now.

3.) The meat in Brazil is by far the best I have ever tasted, absent all the social activities, the sun and the fun I would have made the trip just for the meat and that is no lie.

4.) Exchange rates are a beautiful thing 2.5 Reals to the dollar allows brothas to ball till they fall, drink till the faint and live it up big willy style like the Jigga man.

5.) The music videos don’t do it justice.

6.) If you ever go to Rio, a warning, don’t ever, ever, ever, ever, go on any party boats, I’m not going to explain but that is enough said. There are about 25 brotha’s from H-town that will fill you in if you ask them.

A few Memorable Quotes from the Trip:

Early Departures:
"Yeah I know I have only been here for two days but I am ready to go home."

Spending Habits:
"I don’t care what you say but I am not going to the casino ATM tonight"
"How much did that chicken cost"

The Sights
"Man I am tired of looking at women"
"Please tell her to go sit down"
"I saw that she was talking but she was just so fine that I had a hard time listening"

The Ways of the World:
"There is our world and then there is Kong’s world"

Brothas and the Admirals Club:
"Yeah I might be able to get one of you in the Admirals Club"
"Dude there are two of us what is the other guy supposed to do"
"I mean you guys can switch off"
"Dude I’m going back outside"
"Cool I’ll see you on the plane"

Air Travel from Rio to Belo:
"This is by far my favorite airline"
"You know this might be the first time that I pay attention to the seat belt demonstration"
"Did you want something from the stewardess"
"No"
"Please tell her to go sit down"

This is a Marathon Not A Sprint (you better make sure your liver is ready if you travel with the boys)
"You guys better drink I am already a drink ahead of you"
"You obviously don’t understand who you are traveling with"
"Last night I fell down the stairs and my shoes ended up on opposite sides of the club"
"Man it was crazy because I fell so hard that people in the club were coming over to pick me up"

I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up
"So you fell in the shower"
"Yeah"
"How did that happen"
"I don’t know man but all I could think was damn not again, this happened last time I was here"
"This happened last time, What the hell are you doing in there dude"

To conclude: male readers if you have not gone to Brazil buy a ticket tomorrow (you will thank me). To the women readers you better treat brothas right because if we can’t import them we will institute a frequent flyer program.

A Few Observations from Daily life

Cassidy
Not sure if anyone noticed this but your favorite hustler Cassidy was indited the other day for murder and weapons charges in Phili. Here is the summary of the event as reported on MTV.com:

Police claim Cassidy and two other men, armed with .45 and .40 caliber handguns, 9 mm pistols, AK-47 assault rifles and 7 .62 mm rifles, fired on three unarmed men during an argument behind a house in the rapper's northwest Philadelphia neighborhood, killing one of them — 22-year-old Desmond Hawkins. The other two victims were treated at a hospital for gunshot wounds and released.

Now some may argue that he did this to sell more albums. Or maybe he did this because he needed a jail stint to improve his street cred. Or maybe he just did it because he felt like living in an 8x10 cell would be much better than living in a mansion but all that being said "What the hell is wrong with rappers these days"? Now because of his stupidity I am officially giving Cassidy the annual Rae Carruth achievement award (if you are not familiar with this award please see the December 2000 edition of That’s All I have to Say). He is now joining distinguished company as previous winners include Daryl Strawberry, The Bush Daughters and Robert Kelly.
So I’ve got a couple of questions for Cassidy:
So you shot these guys in back of your house?
Why?
Did you think the neighbors wouldn’t notice?
Was it necessary to use 11 different guns?
Can 3 guys hold 11 guns?
That’s 3.7 guns per person, were extra arms involved?
Does it really take that many guns when the men you fired on are unarmed (damn the least you could have done was lend them a couple of guns so that it was a fair fight)?

So you’re a hustler huh? Well I think that is really going to be put to the test in the pen son.

Free MJ
I’m glad to see that Mike is free because I really didn’t want to see him become the meat in a man sandwich while in the pen. So to commemorate his new found freedom I have just a bit of advice to Mike’s friends and family……..If you are smart you will make that Grown Ass Man turn off the rides and start hanging out with adults (preferably strippers just so there is no more question about his sexuality or his perceived preference for Under Roos rather than Victoria Secrets).

Questions for People Who Love MJ
What’s up with all these people who lived outside the courthouse during the MJ trial including the women who let doves go for each not guilty plea. Don’t these people have jobs, how do you get off work for a month and a half to stake out the MJ trial? Where do you get a box of doves from? Do you need a permit to release doves? Given this years vacation what’s the next vacation? Would these people let their kids sleep over at Neverland now?

and That’s All I Have to Say About That.