TDRS: The We Some Head Bussas Edition

What up Fam? What up Folk? It’s ya boy and I’m here to spit the truth like my name is Karrine Steffens…aka Superhead! I’ll speak more on this “head case” in a second. I know it’s been awhile, but the holidays and the stress of trying to tackle another group in the bank took up much of my writing time. Anway, many of you have been begging for some commentary, so ya boy is here to once again spit that straight fire and knock you out with the head-butt like the “Great Panther” from the ole school Ninetendo days. I’m so excited today to finally write, so I am just going to dive right in and hit up on some things old and new, so excuse me a”head” of time “if you already knew this or that”. I’ll have a more theme based TDRS next week. I have to get back in the groove of things….As usual lets start with…

Whose Embarrassed The Race- January 2006

Nelly
Okay, the spook from St. Lou is really starting to bother me with his determination to single-handedly embarrass black people. This new let me see your “grill” song is just absolutely ludicrous. There is a point in time where you have to just say this is over the top. Now the credit card between the cheeks was definitely a work of art by Nelly. Definitely over the top, but tastefully done…Let me stop.

J.R.
He’s been out of the limelight for awhile but our favorite whippin boy J.R. aka Isaiah Rider allegedly got into an argument Wednesday night with the unidentified female acquaintance and drove off with her against her will, according to Espn.com. The woman began to scream, attracting the attention of police. Authorities tracked Rider down early Thursday morning and arrested him, Baker said. The woman was not injured.

All I want to know is why did the police have to track JR down? I mean was there a car chase that went on until the early morning hours? Did he have a gun to her head and refused to disarm the childprotection locks? These are just a few of my questions.

Showtime
I’m giving dap to Showtime with a pair of ashy feet, for actually showing Soulplane on its network. I boycotted this movie when it debuted, but was talked into watching it by the “girlie” last night and let me just say that it was absolutely awful. As I write this, I just thought of a few ways to decide if a “black movie will be terrible or marginally watchable.

1. If there are more than two people in the movie that starred in a sitcom on UPN. Bonus: if their respective UPN shows only lasted 2 seasons, then don’t even bother renting the DVD.
2. If the starring role is filled by a hip-hop star playing himself. And no, Eight Mile doesn’t count here.
3. If there are more than two hip-hop artists in starring roles…Krush Grove is exempt from this list.
4. When LL Cool J has a major role.
5. If it doesn’t at least include Samuel Jackson…we know Sam will do just about any movie.
6. Any movie with Ving Rhames cooking eggs butt-ass naked.
7. Any movie with Beyonce starring as a singer or her singing ability is a major piece to the plot.
8. Now that I think about it, any movie that stars Beyonce.
9. Any movie that attempts to replicate an old school black event. For instance, movies which try to replicate Black Beach Weekend.
10. Any movie that stars at least two Wayan brothers and Vivica Fox.

I’ll expand on the black movie phenomenon more in a future TDRS that’s being t’d up as we speak. I thought I’d let you marinate on this for a week first.

“How- do-you- know-if-I’m-telling-you-so”…
…Anyway, Ms Steffans has got to be the smartest woman in the world. I’m not sure how many people caught it, but Ms Steffans was on the Suze Orman show on CNBC a few weeks ago receiving financial advice on what to do with the dough she’s earning from her new tell-all book. I have just a few things to say/ask about this. How many men does a woman have to sleep with to be considered a “hoe”? Or is it the person she sleeps with that makes that determination? I’m just asking b/c if some of these other women who are currently with rap stars, atheletes, or business moguls, slept with just as many or even the same folks for that matter as Karen, then aren’t these same women hoes as well? I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m not defending Ms Steffans, but it does make me think about her situation with a bit less cynicism. As a sidenote, does she already have dibs on Memoirs of Hoe? And is the soundtrack going to be produced by Whoddini. (As RedMan said, laugh now and figure the $hit out when you get home). She’s got to be put on Oprah at some point right? What’s the difference between her story and that of the author who fabricated his “million little pieces” book? At least we know her story is for the most part true. Or did she just allegedly sleep with everyone? Speaking of…

“Allegedly”
Can someone please stop the madness with this whole “allegedly” thing? Maybe I’m just old school, but if you didn’t do the crime, just say it and stop with all this alledgedly crap. My apologies to all the attorneys out there but at some point a person is just guilty! For instance, I know they’re innocent until proven guilty, but the twins from American Idol have milked their newfound fame into a record deal with SO-SO DEF, despite being charged with identity theft. People, this isn’t putting on a pair of glasses and some suspenders and calling oneself Urkel, only to get caught and say “did I do that”? This isn’t something where DNA evidence is going to exonerate them. I’m sorry, when someone is playing with my money and credit, justice needs to be served and swiftly.

I know I’ll get some flak for this, but Frank & Wanda should be shot for putting these guys on air in the midst of the controversy. We’ll, on second thought I guess I can’t blame them b/c they are in the entertainment business. However, I do question the many people who called in with their support. This is like Bernie Ebbers and Kenneth Lay going on CNBC when things were in the “alledgedly stage” and MCI/Enron employees calling in with their support. Theft is theft and that’s the bottom line! I hope they are truly innocent versus not guilty…doubt it, but I’m open to being proven wrong. I mean if you didn’t do it, say you didn’t do it. Is that darn simple! I’m still waiting for R.Kelly to say he didn’t do it. The twins all but avoided any discussion of the case, which society has been tricked into believing is necessary…. Whatever! I am telling you all now that if I am ever arrested for something that I know I didn’t do, you can best believe I will personally make that statement…no lawyers, no avoiding the questions, no nothing. All Kobe had to say was that he didn’t do it and everything would have been fine with me, but…he let it play out in court b/c there was something that did happen…I don’t know what, but something we’ll never fully know and unfortunately people will always hold that against him. Speaking of…

“Kobe aka Mr. Backdoor Cut”
I am not going to dwell on the master of the backdoor cut, but will someone please apologize so Kobe can stop his 2006 Revenge Tour. Granted this was against the Raptors and not the Pistons, Spurs, Heat, or even the HAWKS, so I refuse to give him too much dap. I mean when he starts droppin 55 in the garden against the Spurs, during the playoffs, then maybe I’ll say he’s “Jordanlike”. He’ll never go down as an adjective, never, ever! As Scoop Jackson of ESPN.com alluded to, Kobe has become Tupac and it’s him “against the world”. I prefer the tune of Picture Me Rolling to describe Mr. Backdoor Cut. Kobe’s play lately parrallels the lyrics in in this particular Tupac song. You tell me:

HehehehehehehIs y'all ready for me?Picture me rollin roll callYou know there's some muh'fuckers out there I just could not forget aboutI wanna make sure they can see meNumber one on my list: Colorado Correctional FacilitiesAll you bitch ass C.O.'sCan you niggaz see me from there?Ballin on y'all punk ass, ahhaahahah!Picture me rollin, babyYeah, all them niggaz up in them cell blocksI told y'all niggaz when I come home it's onHmm, that's right nigga, picture me rollinOh, I forgot! The Denver D.A.Yeah, that bitch had a lot to talk about in courtCan the hoe see me from here?Can you see me, hoe?Picture me rollinAnd all you punk denver police -- can you see me?Am I clear to you? Picture me rollin nigga, legitFree like O.J. all day

I especially like the last verse….straight up classic!

“Ray J”
Big shout out to my boy J Jackson and sis-n-law J Dunn for sending ya boy more material to comment on. I am not sure everyone got this but I was rolling on the floor laughing after Ray J’s interview. There are so many topics in this interview and I just have to touch em all. Let’s start with the name of Ray J’s new album “Raydiation”. Here are exerpts from Ray J’s interview with the associated press:

AP: Why name the album 'Raydiation'?

Ray J: It's a cleansing. I needed to be cleaned. I needed to clean myself from all my demons. All my bad vibes and just build back on being confident again. There was a time when I just stopped being confident and started thinking about other things.

Okay, last time I checked “radiation” was actually bad for you, not good and definitely not something to be associated with cleansing. I got it, maybe those bad vibes were like cancer and he was killing the disease. What were these demons? Oh I got it, RJ was in a gang and all that gangbanging is probably huanting him? Hmmmm….

Let’s continue with the interview.

AP: Your voice has been compared to Ralph Tresvant’s from New Edition

Ray J: That's cool. I heard that one time, that's a good look. I was a New Edition fan.

I’m offended that the interviewer actually made that comparison…I mean comparing Ralph’s voice to anything is just hilarious, yet alone that of Brandy’s brother. Lil Kim really started something with that “is that Brandy’s brother” spot on his last LP…. Remember? I actually like his new song, but the video is just too much. Message to all video directors, …dude’s singing in the rain outside some girl’s window is played out. Where is Busta Bus when you need him?

AP: You know who speaks very highly of you? Karrine Stephans (the tell-all groupie author).

Ray J: Kerrine Stephans?

AP: Superhead?

Ray J: Oh, oh, oh, yeah. She's cool.

AP: Was there any love there?

Ray J: Love like 'in love?' No, we had fun together. I was at my peak of being wild and she helped me be wild. We had a great wild life together, it was fun, exciting, exotic; it was very, very, very intense as far as just being wild. I was 18, 19, at my peak of exploration and finding out things about women, life and fun. And she helped me.

Hmmm…funny how these things just come together eh? Clearly, Karrine Stephans has some skills b/c Ray J was so turned out he forgot who she was? I mean did the reference to Superhead as opposed to the name her mama gave her really cause him to remember the fun and very multiplied by 3, intensity they shared. I’m just asking? Maybe these are the demons or maybe….

AP: So you're a former gangbanger?

Ray J: Yeah. As a teenager ... I was young and just trying to find myself.

Now remember he answered the question yes, he was a gangbanger. Check his later comments.

AP: Have you ever shot at anybody?
Ray J: Nah, I never shot at anybody. I didn't take it there. You know I was only 13, 14.

So Ray J was a gangbanger and never shot “at” anybody? I can see not actually shooting someone, but to even qualify as a gangbanger wouldn’t you have to at least shoot at something. Come on now Ray please stop the lies and deciet. Don’t have us pull out that video from MTV where you and your sister were punked. “We are just good kids”. That’s what your sister said. Right Ray?

Just a few more random thoughts/questions for this week:

Can someone please tell Coach Dungy to go and rent the movie Crimson Tide, so he can get the balls to tell Peyton he’s the captain of the ship.
Was Shaq mad that Kobe lied or that Kobe broke the “bros before hoes” code? I’m just curious.
Who is bow-wow talking to in his new “fresh as AMIZ’ cut? I’m mean its really hard for a 15-16 yr old be as fresh as he is….Maybe he’s talking to Lil Romeo?
Are folks in the ATL just all about keeping dance moves simple? I say this because, the new “lean wit it/rock wit it” dance is almost as easy as the “bankhead bounce”.
The WB and the UPN, and the u pick a negro network are merging……SO!!!! I guess this means Flex, the Cast of Girlfriends, All of Us, and Half & Half can all be one half-hour show. This is another concept that needs to be developed. More on this in a future TDRS. For now….

HollAtYaBoy