That's All I Have To Say About That (Archived June 2001)

After freeing myself from that hell that is know as the CFA exam I though it was about time to let the readers know what Jamal has been thinking about during this period of extreme pain. So after a number of request and a letter from Stone Cold I feel that it is time to let my thoughts be heard. So what follows are the original thought and feeling of J. Jackson aka J aka J.B. aka Jamiz aka J-Daddy. Shit that ain't Right:

1.) P-Diddy- So the adoption of the P-Diddy nickname was a joke and now your going back to P-Daddy, first off let me say that there ain't no way that I'm giving up J-Daddy because me an J-Lo still got a chance. But if I were Puffy there is absolutely no way that I would be claiming to be any body's daddy after his baby mama wants to hit him up for 17% of his gross adjusted income so that he can take care of his 3 year old son who needs private school, a tutor, after school programs............... a Bentley, some ice for his neck, and a tight crib were he can bring home all the cute groupie chicks from kindergarten. I mean you got to be fucking kidding me a three year old needs 17% of Puffy's income shit he just needs some cool toys, the carton channel and the occasional trip to Chucky Cheese. Shit I'm a finance man and as far as I can tell at that rate Puffy can only have three more kids (two if you count the kid that ain't really his kid thank to G-Tate for pointing out the invisible kid mentioned in the Tavis interview). You know I need to be a woman, I mean no one told me that having kids was like playing the Lotto....fuck the right dude and next thing you know you get 17%........15% for your greedy ass and 2% for the kid who by the way will be attending public school, playing on the YMCA sports teams because it cheep, and not getting a tutor because he's only three and fuck it who cares if he can read or spell we are rich.

2.) P-Diddy part 2- Have any of you seen the new Puffy video that I like to call flossin for God. Well you know since P-Diddy.....Daddy......... shit that mother fucker turned over a new leaf he felt the need to make a gospel video that features all of his artists and of course P-whatever coonin in front of the camera while all of the truly talented people sing. The only question I have is what the fuck is up with the jet and the Bently in the fucking video I mean God knows what you got and there is absolutely no reason to show him...unless your really aren't doing it for him........things that make you go hum.

3.) VIP Area-You know I reside in Dallas the flossing, posing capital of the world. I mean it is the only place where a nigga that live with his mom can get a lease on a benze or a beemer and all of the sudden he is a music executive or his peeps are rich. Yeah right, girls just make sure you take him back to you crib because his mom makes him wake up at 7:00am to do the dishes and take her to work. But really back to my point.......what the fuck is up with the VIP area I mean I understand the concept, you know that is were the high profile guests get to party and drink Cris without being bothered by the little people. I can also understand that the VIP area works in places like New York and Cali where there is an abundance of stars and VIP areas usually occupy at least half of the club and people can afford Cris without working two weeks to make the money to pay of the credit card (true ballers pay cash for Cris). But shit in Dallas and even worse Tallahassee a nigga can set up a red rope around a table throw some champagne on the table and whala you got a fucking VIP area. You know what I'm going to do, I'm going to steal a couple of orange traffic cones and one of those blinking construction signs off the street (those of you that know me know I have and will do it again) get a couple of bottles of Korbel (I'm not going to front I can't afford Cris) and take it with me the next time I go to the club. That way I will have my own portable VIP area that I can set up wherever I go.

4.) VIP Area Groupies- You all know you're wrong and if you think your going to get lucky have a kid and get 17% well if I were you I wouldn't try it in Dallas, Tallahassee or any U.S. cities that are not in the state of California or New York because let me just do the math for you (why because I got a finance degree) 17% of shit is shit and that ain't shit.....and that is all I have to say about that.

5.) Now in the spirit of Rae Carruth and Daryl Strawberry let me just talk about the Bush girls. You know what they say, "the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree". It's good to know that we now can be sure that she is one of daddy's little girls I mean the resemblance is uncanny, they are both alcoholics and apparently both dumb. Oh yeah you are going to discreetly walk into a restaurant in Austin (the place were you daddy used to be governor) and order a beer. Shit forget about the 10 or 12 secret service men nobody knows who you are and nobody should notice them because well they're a secret right. Here's a tip next time go to frat party or get the guy down the hall to buy you a beer, or shit get the secret service to do it I mean they are all over 21 right........and when you get that shit drink it in your room dumb ass. You know I'm really scared that the person who raised this brain surgeon is going to be leading our country for the next four years. (Also who's the fucking waitress that called 911 to report this crime, "Yes it's an emergency there is under age drinking going on and the authorities need to stop it right now" come on your in Austin if there wasn't any under age drinking beer sales would go down by 95% with 4% for those of age and 1% for W. when he comes into town.)

6.) Over use of Hip Hop- Let's talk about Hip Hop, with the accession of Allen Iverson, his game, and the new found respect from the media Hip Hop has gotten a lot of press. But what I am offended by is the fact that Hip Hop is always referred to with negative connotations. In fact I am starting to think that Hip Hop is this great force of urban-ness that possess unsuspecting soul and automatically forces them to: 1.) wear baggy cloths, skull caps and tight kicks and swear off all that is normal like suits 2.) causes people to get multiple tattoos 3.) force otherwise normal hair to be braided into corn rolls 4.) causes people to cuss generally disrespect authority and write misogynistic lyrics 5.) causes people to crave ice (cool jewlery for those who are not in tune with Hip Hop slang), benzes and scantly clad women You know what I think, I think the media likes to use Hip Hop as a way of explaining what they don't understand and that is young black people. If you don't understand us don't explain it away by saying that Hip Hop forced us to do it. That's the problem with people who judge they would rather find a blanket reason to explain something away rather than understand why it exists. You know I don't understand why white men can't seem to match their clothes without consultation from a woman but I don't attribute that to Frank Sinatra. I prefer baggy jeans, but I'm not in a gang I'm not claiming a gang I'm just conformable some people like suites some people like a Phat Farm shirt and baggy jeans DON'T BLAM THE MUSIC. Hip Hop is music, Hip Hop is art, like it or hate it is not the reason for the problems in the inner city or the reason white youth want to act like us. Don't judge it based on one artist or one set of lyrics take it in its entirety and judge it for what it is and that is an extremely creative way of expression. That is all I have to say about that.