TDRS:The Diamonds on My Neck Edition

What Up Folk, What Up Fam! It’s your boi and you know how I do. I bring that straight up FIRE by keeping it real and not pleading the “fif”. I am bringing it in less than 2,000 words a week for those who just finished reading the revised Bar Etiquette Edition. Now the title of this edition was sort of catchy and current, I know, but it pretty much sums up my rant today. Everyone who is anyone in hip-hop, athletics and even “real life” is talking about that cash money. It’s starting to become a little outrageous and it’s time for TDRS to “simmer down” the uproar and like Kanye, “not lie to you man”. You all know my feelings about Kanyeeze and in today’s edition I’ll spare some of my otherwise scathing comments on “him” for another day. I will start everything off with the most overhyped lie told today and that is “Diamonds Are Forever”! Before I pontificate on the subject, let’s begin with the weekly housecleaning items”.

Person/Events That Shamed the Race last week:

Stella & her “Boo”.
I hate to go here but I must pontificate on this whole D/L thing…. AGAIN. At the end of the day the whole point of being on the “D/L” is leading one to believe that they are NOT a “left hand batter”, switch hitter, or as my dad would say, a sissy. I’m sorry but if one can spot a “switch hitter” from a mile away, is he truly on the D/L? Case in point was this whole Toni Morrison interview on Oprah. Ladies, you can’t tell me that there wasn’t something weird about that brotha. This wasn’t about him bathing in dove (b/c people who like quality soap do) it was about that person and his personality. Look at his mannerisms and the way he talks. It was pretty damn obvious this brotha was hotter than a pack of hot sauce flavored pork skins. All I got to say is that Stella may have gotten her groove back, but it’s too bad it was to the tune of the Village People. Stella should have known better.

The Vibe Awards
All I can say is that Keyshia Cole’s girl wearing the white-feathered hat was truly a sight to see. I mean, I knew Ms Cole was ghettocious (full of ghetto) when the red dye in her hair was visibily running down her face in the “I shoud’ve cheated” video, but her girlfriends who tagged along with her to the Vibe awards was the icing on the cake. While I’m hot, I’ll just list my other observations in bullet points to keep things moving:

· I thought BET was wrong for giving the cast of girlfriends a spot on it top 25 list, but VIBE took it one step further by having a tie for the best new artist award between Young Jeezy and Ms Cole.
· Tracy Ellis Ross (Joan from Girlfriends) is really an airhead when she’s not in character.
· Luda’s confederate flag outfit was pretty much ho-hum. I seem to remember Lil John in the Bia-Bia video rocking the confederate wear like 2.5 years ago.
· Finish this off folks…Popeye’s Chicken is to Beyonce as Church’s Chicken is to______.
· Top-notch superstars should not attend these low budget award shows. It’s like Tiger Woods playing in the Jake Gaither Charity Classic.
· If you (Mary J Blige) win the equivalent of a lifetime achievment award before the age of 35, are you really being told that your career is basically over?


This Week’s “The thing that when you think about it, it really pisses you off”, and that is….

…. People in this country that can’t speak English. All I’m saying is that I shouldn’t have to revert to “Hooked on phonics-The Fantasia Edition” to explain to the “no speaka inglis” illegals at the local dry cleaner that I was missing two pairs of pants. Note these were two pairs from Banana Republic, so you know they weren’t cheap! Clearly you can tell that a brotha is pretty heated about this. I’m just letting you guys know how I REALLY feel. Is it me, or am I the only one who just wants to hang up when Mahkmud or Lu-Si or anyone who can’t conjugate verbs answers the customer service line? This ish has got to stop!

Diamonds on My Neck!
Okay, let me preface my comments by saying that the woman I do marry will hopefully get a mini “Rockefeller Center” on her finger. That is, I hope to save up enough dough to give her a piece of ice so thick that you “can skate on it”. However, before she get’s that “rock” or as my man J Jackson would say the “second contract” she HAS to perform on that first deal. FYI, I’m working on the second contract right now, b/c when you got an allstar, you have to keep them on your team at all cost. What’s the first deal you ask? Well you’ll have to tune in next week b/c TDRS will unveil the first ever rookie contract for the ladies. To set the stage, I just thought I’d give a bit of background….

…These days it seems that some ladies are coming out of college, trade school, high school, or wherever, thinking they are the # 1 pick in the draft. Brothas know that there are basically three types. The ones who:

1. Hold out of Training Camp
For some reason and you can call it poor advice from an agent (aka their girl), the #1 draft pics don’t go out on those mean streets. They believe that they are pro-bowlers/all-stars, yet haven’t played one game in the league. Sorry, but what you did in college doesn’t count for ish. Examples of this type of behavior include saying:

a. “My stomach was flatter and/or I had some abs”
b. “I used to be sweet”
c. “Guys always sweat me”

This type instead opts to stay home and complain that no man wants to draft them. They basically walk around with a chip on their shoulder, like they were the only one’s who’ve had their heartbroken, cheated on, etc. I mean no one really likes Training Camp or what we call those mean streets, but you have to do it before you settle down. I mean for all you would be “hold-outs”, please stop the frequent visits to obscure jazz clubs in hopes of finding a Denzel Washington type with salt and pepper hair. Better yet, before going to a jazz club please know something about jazz. And by the way, Sade is NOT jazz. That’s all I am saying.

2. Demands A Large Signing Bonus
This is really a beef of mine b/c some of the rookies out there don’t deserve one damn dime. I mean if you haven’t been to training camp and all but “blew out” your knee chasing wack dudes in your early 20s, what makes you think a brotha wants to put diamonds on your neck? Maybe some pearls, but I am not going there today! Yeah I know ELI Manning recieved a $20MM upfront bonus, but heck he is the franchise quarterback, the future of the Giants. Brothas should refuse to pay top dollar for those ladies who are nothing but position players…like punters are in the NFL. These are the types that can do one thing somewhat well, but are worthless when it comes to anything else.

3. Looks for an Insurance Policy
Now there are plenty of ladies out there who think we are still in the 1920s. I’m sorry but the “non-atheletes” of the world aren’t ballin till we fall, so cut us some slack. Please stop it with this constant quest for that man that will take care of you. Take care of yourself first and then when you find that man, take care of each other. That’s all I’m saying. It’s unfortunate but these types are killing our attitudes right now and THAT’s why many brothas are acting stupid when it comes to the ladies these days. Brothas don’t care b/c they truly view the ladies as “golddiggers” and that’s the bottom line. Don’t get mad at the messenger, I’m just the man sittin next to the man that heard a man sing that song. I’m just keeping it REAL!

Please note that TDRS isn’t complaining because I scouted and really believe I drafted very well. I’m just letting my folks know what I’m hearing and seeing out there on them mean streets. Don’t dispair, because as I mentioned earlier, the rookie contract will be coming out next week and that should solve the problem! How u luv dat?

HollaAtYaBoy!


Mailbag


Say man,I'm just now getting to this. I will admit, that i'm dissaponited that you're out of the game...but I wanna congratulate you also...hopefully your lady is treating your right.W/ respect to the decline in the frequency of the TDRS emails...I'd like to request that you at least publish the TDRS re-adjusted Universal scale---post Rio before you go out...PS, My buddy from ATL, sent me that song you're talking about (The ATL theme song), and yes it sucks! Even though it doesn't talk about Atlanta specifically, my recommendation is that THE ATL adopts Ludacris and Field Mob's rendition of "Georgia"...that sh** is a BANGA my friend!!! B

Nia Long and Sommore are sisters. BS!!! Show me the paperwork. Gotta be different daddies!!! I would say it is a publicity stunt... but who the hell cares. How is Ebony handling the fact that your junk joint drunk off moonshine ass bar brawling cousins want her number. I'm sho that she jus ready to start choosin...whats up for the weekend holler at ya boi? Perry Pimp

Man, no longer single? Gave up the game, eh? Congrats! I ain't mad, I rejoined the single ranks a few months ago, and let me tell ya, it is "hard out here for a pimp" in LA. Maybe I should rent a Lex for the weekend to impress the ladies like the rest of the cats out here. Then again maybe not.Keep spittin' that fire bro!! J Reid
· Just wanna say I loved it! And thanks for the top 25 run-down. Been trying to catch the show and haven't been able to. C. Magee

I missed my shoutout!! Thank Ric! Thank you for also noting that Mariah is NOT BLACK!!! You can't claim that you are the most misunderstood black woman in essence mag. and then only have white boys on ya arm and in ya videos!! Stop giving Popeye's a shout out in all of your commentaries. You are starting to sound like BruceBruce!! Ava
you've probably gone over this before, but what is milf? Lisa G

That was good baby! Q.K. Nichols aka the #1 Draft pick!

TDRS:The Jumping Off The Bandwagon Edition

What up Fam? What up Folk? It’s great to back and writing these things more often and I have to give a shout out to Ms J Linthecome for expressing her disagreement with TDRS’s comments on Kanye West. I’m sure many of you share her comments and thoughts, so I thought I would just put them out there before I reply:

I haven't read too many of your emails lately because they are so long, but I have to say you are very wrong on the Kanye West comments. First of all, I think Kanye West is one arrogant son of a bitch, and I have never been a fan, but I have to give him respect for what he said. How often do you stand up for what you believe in at work? This man had a forum and made his opinion known. No, he doesn't speak for every black person, but he echoed what many of us have said all along. And who cares if the Congressional Black Caucas doesn't endorse him. The CBC has become a monkey show just like NAACP, a bunch of money-hungry crabs fighting over things that will only get them attention. Kanye doesn't need their support just like the RNC doesn't need the support of the KKK. And Masta P ain't nothing more than coon. He has done more to perpetuate the image of poverty and crime in New Orleans than Masta P. He is so irrelevant.

And what did Kanye have to lose? Pinkies (white people) are pissed. Before his comments, Kanye had been on the cover of Time Magazine and on the cusp of crossing over. I don't thinkthe plan will run as smooth now as his comments are re-played day after day. And you ask why didn't he make those comments at MTV Awards? Do you carry the burdens of black America on your sleeves everyday?

Bush might not care about the white people who voted for him, but he does a great job of pretending. He was on the ground hugging his constituents in the heavily Republicans areas of Mobile and Biloxi days before stepping foot in New Orleans. Do I think he's clueless? Yes! Completely out of touch. But how you watch TV and not see the racism? Over Labor Day weekend, I worked at an evacuee shelter. People were in shock that no one came to help them. And yes, they feel if was West Palm Beach, Naples, or the Carolina Coast, they would have gotten help faster.

So brotha, maybe you have spent a little too much time in Brazil and you need to snap back into reality…J Linthecomb

TDRS-Jumping off the Bandwagon
Okay, first of all thanks for the reply and comments. I appreciate them very much. I will say and hope that the Brazil comment is a joke because otherwise it sort of diluted your reply. I mean is there something about Brazil you don’t like? What did the Brazilians do or have to do with Katrina or Kanye? Don’t hate the playa hate the game! I mean maybe you are upset with the Rio Edition? And if so, I really do “sho” hate it.

Anyway, I’ll make sure to go off on that comment at another time and instead focus on the topic at hand and that is jumping on the bandwagon. I respect your opinion on Mr West, I just disagree with his statement and approach and that’s the bottom line. Yes, he had a forum but do you really think that was the appropriate time to say something so off the beat and track? It was a fundraising event. He was “begging”(strong word I know but its true) for money from U.S. citizens and that includes Bush supporters. If Kanye represents those black people in New Orleans and he gets on a national stage to tell people who actually voted Bush in office (remember there are more of them than us since Bush did win the popular vote) that their candidate doesn’t like black people, what’s their incentive to give? That’s my first problem with Mr. West. It’s okay to feel a certain way and also to voice one’s opinion, but there is a time and place for everything and in my opinion, that wasn’t the time or place. My father always said that beggars can’t be choosy, so Kanye and anyone on his bandwagon should truly pick their poison. This isn’t the time to pull the race card, especially if it isn’t necessarily warranted.

I am sorry but it is highly likely that the same thing would have occurred under anyone’s administration. At the end of the day, NO ONE was prepared and EVERYONE miscalculated the effects the storm would have on the levee system in the N.O. The levee saw no color. Yes, Wubba is the president of the U.S. but he didn’t crack a hole in the levee. At the end of the day, the city didn’t have the resources to get the poor (most of which were black) out of the city and to take care of them once they were safe. This is Problem #1. Heaven forbid the eye of the storm actually hitting the N.O. There would have easily been 10,000 dead, so let’s not forget that. Let’s begin with the unprepardness before going to point the finger and then exacerbating the situation by calling people racist or better yet saying that the reason people weren’t helped is because there was some conspiracy against black folk. New Orleans was a disaster waiting to happen and it did. You’re right in that had this been Florida things would have been different…at least appeared different. The state of Florida has dealt with this for years and I’ll say the state is a tad bit more prepared than any state with respect to hurricanes. So is the city of New Orleans and state of Louisiana racist? I don’t think so. Unprepared, definitely! Check this excerpt from the September 10th edition of the Palm Beach Post:

“Florida emergency planners criticized and even rebuked their counterparts -- or what passes for emergency planners -- in those states for their handling of Hurricane Katrina. Gov. Jeb Bush, the head of Florida AHCA and the head of Florida wildlife (which is responsible for all search and rescue) all said they made offers of aid to Mississippi and Louisiana the day before Katrina hit but were rebuffed. After the storm, they said they've had to not only help provide people to those states but also have had to develop search and rescue plans for them. "They were completely unprepared -- as bad off as we were before Andrew," one Florida official said.

Heads have already rolled at FEMA and we don’t need to regergetate the fact the head of the organization was unqualified to handle such a disaster. If you’re going to be upset, but upset that FEMA and the government (local, state, and federal) dropped the ball. Don’t go and start pulling the race card, because again black people weren’t the only ones affected, nor the only ones involved in the decision-making. If you’re going to be uspet also be upset at a black N.O. state representative who used the National Guard and a helicopter to retrieve personal items from his home in the affluent Uptown district and this was during the storm when people were waiting to be helped. I know that’s nitpicky but you and Kanye should be prepared to defend the actions of our own people before pulling the race card.

That’s great that you worked at an evacuee center, but please tell me exactly where you saw the racism? I mean of course they are going to feel mistreated and I don’t blame them. However, you and the Kanye bandwagon should take a step back and really access the situation before making such strong comments. Furthermore, we should not forget about all those “other” people in the state of Mississippi and parts of Alabama who are just as distraught and displaced? The news media has focused on the N.O., but it wasn’t the only city that was impacted. There were some cities that were totally DESTROYED, not just flooded.

At the end of the day, it’s time to be smart and quit all the rhetoric about Bush this and Bush that b/c it has solved absolutely nothing. We did it four years ago and he still got re-elected. I really hate to bring Herm Edwards back into this, but we have to play to win the game and name-calling isn’t the way. Unfortunately we are going to go that route and we’ll see what happens. You and Kanye call me when you’re done calling names and finally want to put something together to solve a problem. If I am not at home, I’ll likely be in Rio enjoying retirement.

HollaAtYaBoy!

TDRS:The No Duh Edition

What Up Fam? What Up Folk? It’s your boy and you know how I do. I am all about spitting that straight FIRE. There aren’t any shoutouts for this edition b/c TDRS hasn’t been active on a consistent basis, but that’s all good. Actually, I do have a big shout out to all those who showed TDRS love with gifts at the Housewarming in September. Big Shouts to Nicole K (thanks a bunch for the shot glasses), E Troupe, Vendetta R (u know who you are and thanks for the $15,000 Bed Bath & Beyond Gift certificate), Jamoke, J Jackson, G-Tate, T Hinton (you are about to join the 31 club in four days) T. Mayo, E Fountain, and anyone else who came through to my new home. The lesson learned from the party was never, ever, ever, put out a bottle of Courvoisier for general consumption.

I’d like to say I’m sorry to those who expect these rants to be in you mailbox every week. I really, really am sorry. I now understand why Dave Chappell walked away from the game. It’s hard to keep people laughing when they’ve laughed so hard already. There is only so much I can talk about in terms of relationships and quite frankly it’s getting old. I am no longer single, so I am out the game. I faded to gray, not to black, but gray. Big Shout to My boy Haas G-Tate III who “Faded to Black” two weeks ago in a very nice wedding ceremony. His playa card has expired! He hadn’t really been using the card anyway, so we closed his account. Congrats, Haas G!

This Week’s Events/People that made me proud to Be Black:

Rosa Parks-Granted this isn’t an event, but her name will forever by synonymous with the civil rights movement. Unlike these “wanna be” take action superstars who talk a big game, Miss Rosa took a stand or better yet refused get up, causing all hell to break loose in this country.

This Week’s Events/People that Embarrassed the Race:

Sheryl Swoopes-I’m sorry, but Sheryl you get no cool points for coming out of a closet that was lit with a 200 watt light bulb and full of other WNBA players. I mean didn’t the movie Jowanna Mann show us that anything goes in the WNBA? We, the public don’t really care about how you or any other athlete “gets down”. Actually now that you’ve come out you’ve got to let the people know the details. Were you a top or bottom?

· Young Jeezy-The self-proclaimed T-R-A-P-S-T-R was paying $150/month in child support until his baby mama decided to sue for an increase to $20K/month. $150/month??? Come on Jeezy. I guess Jeezy has definitely “first off been staking his flow”, instead of sharing the dough. At the end of the day, no one really wants baby mama drama do they? Heaven forbid a “baby mama” that can’t read in the year 2005!

While I’m on the subject of embarrassing, I think I need to list a couple of disappointments over the last few weeks:

The Atlanta Theme Song-The city of Atlanta is embarking on a new marketing slogan and theme to attract visitors to the city that is so on fire (flaming might be the better word) right now that General Sherman is turning in his grave. One of the most anticipated initiatives was the city’s anthem, which was produced by ATL’s own Dallas Austin. While he is by all accounts a talented producer, I have to keep it real and say that the theme song entitled “ATL” was pretty lame. For those who haven’t been privy to the song, I think I can describe it in such away that you’ll understand my criticism. Imagine the hook (“A-T-L’) being sung by Bone Crusher with a mix violins and a beat that could’ve been easily put together by MC Shy D. Add in some soul (the usual 112, jagged edge type of soul) and boom, you got ATL’s new anthem. My vote will forever be Welcome to Atl, by J.D.

Paul Wall-The Peoples Champ- I was totally duped by the so-called “people’s champ” who reps H-town. Anytime Bun-B makes another person’s song hot, don’t buy the album unless Bun B is on every song. That’s all I am saying. Paul that was absolutely terrible and you know you could have saved the chopped and screwed disc for the mentally disabled. Paul says he’s got the “Internet blowing up”. Well Paul let me just say that the http://hollaatyaboys.blogspot.com website got more “hits” than you. I hate to go Fisher Deberry, but “white” rappers suck. There is one exception and that’s Eminem, but that’s it. I’ll never buy another white rapper’s album again.

The $40MM contract to Charlie Weis- Call it being biased or whatever you want, but I am still pissed that Ty Willingham was fired at Norte Dame. I actually was just beginning to get over it, until the “hunch-backs” decided to give a 1st year coach that has gone 5-2 with players that were recruited by Ty (who was 8-0 during his 1st year, btw) a $40MM contract. Please note this was the richest contract in NCAA history, mind you. Let me go on record and say that Tennessee will open up a can on the Irish this weekend. You heard it hear first!

George Bush-I aint mad at him this week for Iraq, Katrina, Harriet Miers, or the leak. I am mad at George b/c he started a near riot at Howard University a week ago when students were not allowed to partake in their weekly Soulfood Thursday’s at the café b/c the President was on campus. Security had the café on lockdown, so students were pissed that they couldn’t get any “ConeBread”.

BET’s 25 Sexiest Women-This has already been talked about amongst the fellas, so I am not going to dwell on the stupidity of the show, namely the title which gave us the impression that it would cover 25 years of the sexiest women. There have been a number of posts out there with brothas posting their personal top 25. I won’t do that, but I’ll instead focus on BET’s list. Here is the list for those that didn’t catch it, with my comments.

25. Lauryn Hill-Classic Pick, but #25? Definitely on the top 10 MILF list.
24. Girlfriends-I mean, the one with the DSL’s would get it, but didn’t the show lose all credibility by naming the entire cast? The list truly isn’t 25 when its actually 27! Come on BET!
23.Monique-Monique before Lauryn Hill. Wow! I will say I’d go for a ton of love with Monique before the “my head lost more weight than I did, Starr Jones”.

22. Toni Braxton-Toni, who shares my b-day, would definitely be on my top 10 MILF list!
21. Lil Kim-Okay Lauryn Hill #25 and Lil Kim 4 spots better. Very interesting!
20.Vivica Fox-Why are the ladies hating on Vivica for dancing on the MTV movie awards? I mean she’s been dancing for crowds since Independence Day.
19.Kelly Rowland-Sleeper, definite sleeper! I hope she doesn’t ever try to run away from Roy because she may end up crippled.
18.Tina Turner-Still got those legs. Speaking of Tina, how in the hell is Angela Bassett not on this list?
17.Lisa Raye-How is her show still on and Kevin Hill is not? She still gets my vote for hooking my boy J Jackson and I up with some Hennessey shirts in Orlando.
16.Stacey Dash- “As if”, didn’t she marry a Caucasian brotha?

15. Vanessa Williams-Clearly there is some age/time discrimination going on. BET clearly wasn’t “Saving the Best for Last”.

14.Ashanti-See my comments above. Ashanti, even today couldn’t hold Vanessa Williams’ period panties! “Aww Baby” should be “Naww Baby”.

13.Mary J Blige-Talented yes! Sexy……enough to be #13?

12.Nia Long-And she’s the comedian Sommore’s sister? Wow, one of these days I am going to write about the little sister theory and how it never really fails. Think about: Venus/Serena, Sandra/Denise, Vanessa/Rudi, E. Johnson & J. Johnson at FAM (both were fine btw).
11.Jada Pinkett –Solid Pic!

10.PAM GRIER-Finally BET is paying homage! She made proud to an “Afro” American after watching some old films.
9.Alicia Keys-Isn’t she the type of girl that you can cheat with and no one would say anything?

8.Gabrielle Union-It’s definitely the dimples! And to think this girl worked at a Payless in Pleasanton, CA just makes me wanna jump off the Bay Bridge. E Fountain, do you think Gabrielle would have bought me an OJ Simpson USC throwback?

7.CIARA-Wow, BET just really did it with this one. Can she reach the age of 25 first? Damn! She’s dating “Bow-Wow” for Pete’s sake…That aint sexy at all!
6.Mariah Carey? I know it wasn’t explicitly stated, but wasn’t this supposed to 25 Sexiest “black” women?

5.Tyra Banks-Hmmm, she get’s in purely for the SI spread back in the day.
4. Aaliyah-See Alicia Keys comments above. If your girl only knew…..

3. Janet Jackson-Extra points if she’s been a MILF for all this time!
2.Beyonce-It’s amazing what staying away from that 2piece Spicy with red-beans and rice, an extra biscuit and grape jelly will do for you.

1. Halle Berry-This may have been the only pick BET did get right.


HollaAtYaBoy!

TDRS:The Things I Hate Edition

What up Fam? What up Folk? It’s Ya Boy and I’m coming at you one mo gin with a big wazzup. Again I apologize for not publishing that fire on a consistent basis, but moving, career and who would’ve thunk, life “not” on those mean streets of Atlanta, has continued to consume TDRS’s time. No biggie right? Anyway, before I get it started I’d like to send a shout out to the new reader(s), (Felcia Jones…FAMU SBI 1993 and Marissa…wifey of Eddie Trojan) and anyone who this rant about nothing was forwarded to. I have tried for the last few weeks to come up something funny and to no avail. I think it’s because I’ve been so pissed with things going on in the world that it’s clouded my brain. In an effort to get back to the real, TDRS has to spew this week, so please excuse me. I might piss some of you off….I sho hate it. Without further ado, I really hate….

Wimp A$$ Atheletes
So I decided to check out some of the U.S. open tennis matches the other night because (i) Venus was in the quarterfinals and (ii) a brother named Blake was quietly moving his way up to a big match with Andre Agassi. As most of you know Venus is out and the brotha pretty much choked and let Agassi come back from two sets down and a break in the THIRD SET. I mean Blake was doing really well, but Agassi just refused to lose. I just have to get on Blake for his post match comments because someone needs to. Blake said, "I generally don't have much fun losing, but this one was a lot of fun to play. This was incredible." FYI Blake you didn’t lose, you choked. It’s sad that I have to keep bringing back the quote from Herm Edwards of the New York football Jets, but Blake, YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME! Period. There is no fun in losing, not generally, not at any time!!

Comcast Cable
I hate Comcast. Let me repeat, I hate these monopolistic bastards. All the Baby Bells and wireless phone companies are cutting prices for dsl and high speed internet but not the cocky bastards at Comcast. I know it’s not totally their fault because ESPN and MTV subscriber fees are not cheap. However it doesn’t make sense that my cable bill is basically a Honda civic car note. Did you know that Comcast charges $2.95 for that TV guide that is sent out weekely? I thought it was free and always trashed it because it was clogging my mailbox. I mean just think how much they are making off of this crap. It’s the equivalent of Bell South trying to charge you for the yellow pages. If nothing else please call Comcast today and inquire about this.

Telephone # Disclosure
So a few weeks ago I went to TJ MAXX to shop for house items. Before swipping my card, the cashier says, “telephone number”. Note I wasn’t asked for my telephone number nor was the request for my telephone number followed by the word “please”, I was essentially told to give my number as if it was necessary to complete the transaction. I always give my phone number because I think it is like some form of identification. Well, as I learned this weekend, IT’S NOT!!! In fact some of the stores have it posted clear as day that giving one’s phone number is completely voluntary. Maybe it’s just me but being asked for my number is totally different than being told to give my number. If it’s completely voluntary, then dammit just ask for it and give me the opportunity to say no. Just think if bartenders did this? Speaking of…

Bartenders
I love bartenders, I really, really do. What I hate are these bartenders who use measuring cups to make my “drank”. Are u fhukin kidding me? Before you know it we are going to have automatic drink making machines at the club. Actually that would be sort of cool. Now that I think about it, maybe not, because that would render bar position totally useless and you know how the fellas do when it comes to bar position.

Micheal Vick Haters
Micheal Vicks stats read like this: 12-23 passing, 11 rushes for 68 yards and a 55.7 passer rating. At the end of the day let’s talk about that W that was posted last night. Mike…shake them haters off!

Bary Bonds Haters
Has he failed a test yet? Nuff Said! The man missed 142 games this year and almost hit a homer (doubled instead) and scored a run.

Kanye West
I hate what Kanye did last week. Yeah I said it and yeah I bought his 1st album. I’m not buying album #2 b/c I am not feeling it. Oh yeah, I didn’t vote for Bush either so please save the emails saying I must be republican or something. The situation in the N.O. was sad and downright ridiculous and I hope and pray all of those affected somehow see brighter days ahead. Those in the N.O. and the SIP who saved themselves, families, or others are truly courageous and should be applauded. However, in this time of tradgedy, I refuse to just hand out applause to just anyone…Especially Mr. Kanye West.

Is Kanye really courageous? Courage where? Is he courageous for making such a statement in an already anti-bush environment? Why didn't he do this at the MTV music awards? Or the Grammy's where he was truly on a national/world stage. I guess he was too upset at the American Music Awards when he wasn’t getting any respect. And I’m not talking just about Katrina. Did he just find out that there was signficant poverty in the Big Easy? Did he just realize after Katrina that Bush didn't like Black folk? Come on now. People and blog sites everywhere talk about how much he had to lose for those comments. Please, Kanye had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Kanye’s consumer base is not the same as the Dixie Chicks (for those who remember what happened to them), so he didn’t step out of bounds by his comments. What? Are people going to stop buying his albums? We already know what his album sales did this week. Is he going to jail? Did he get put in jail? Is he on the front lines in Iraq? What does he have to lose? The man exercised his freedom of speech in a free country, so please stop the madness calling this man courageous. Even Master P wasn’t in agreement with Mr. Kanyeezees approach.

Now let me just say that Kanye was pretty close to dead on when he said in the “remix” that George Bush don’t care about “broke” negroes. Bush and all of those who voted for him don’t care about broke caucasions either. The sitiuation in the N.O. was not a blatant attempt to rid the world of the blacks. It did show that local, state, and national authorities were ill prepared and that our commander in chief is truly truly an IDIOT. I don’t think the man is a charter member of the Klan, but I do think he really did ride in the front seat of the little yellow bus. Let me say it loud so everyone can hear it, Bush doesn't care and doesn't need to care. Kanye saying Bush sux or doesn't care is not contrary to popular opinion and therefore doesn't warrant the tag line of "courageous". He was doing nothing but adding another stick to an out of fhukin control, Texas A&M style bonfire.

Are we that "hard" up for a leader that we will put all of our praise and hope into someone who stated the "obvious". At the end of the day Kanye was preaching to basically the "choir" right? Now what? The collection plate was being passed around and money was being directed to the sick and shut in before his comments and will continue afterward. Now I am in no way advocating for "negroes" to keep quiet. The man has the right to free speech in a free country. This isn't 1960? Kanye and his faithful followers believe that everyone wanted to say it, but do they really? Maybe they don't believe what Kanye said. Sure it sounds good and everyone vents amongst friends, but do we really feel that way? Does he think the world is clueless to the fact that blacks have struggeled in the U.S? Again this isn't 1960. Does he feel Bush cares about black people less so than a Clinton or any other "white" U.S. president? Oh I guess Clinton cared b/c he played the sax, smoked a little weed, has offices in Harlem, chilled with Arsenio Hall and cheated on his wife. Please! Take away the dot-com boom and I really wonder what life would have been like under his administration. I voted for Clinton btw.

Bush isn't my most favorite prez for a number of reasons and this is true. However, Kanye West doesn't represent me nor does he speak what I wanted to say, so I am not going to jump on and agree with him or his approach. If I feel what he said was stupid (Which I do), why would I stand behind him? The congressional Black Caucus didn’t back him and I wonder why? Is it that they are scared (doubt it), smart (highly likely), or quite frankly don't totally agree? Maybe I’m in the minority but Bush wasn't responsible for a hurricane to land on a city, state, and region that were ill prepared in the first place. At the end of the day I believe people have nothing to lose for being truly courageous. Now for being stupid or more politely said, unwise, then that's another story.

HollaAtYaBoy

The Mailbag:
Hey, man. I loved your response. I'm always open to a dialogue between people with varying points of view. It's apparent that we were talking about two different types of investors, or men. I was speaking of the portfolio manager, who is a person who generally has an unlimited investment horizon and is seeking to maximize profit while minimizing risk and transaction costs through a buy and hold strategy. They seek companies (women) with a good history of earnings and good growth prospects for the future that they can hold onto for life, or at least until the fundamentals of the market change and dictate that they sell. What you seem to be talking about is the financial equivalent of the "playa playa", the trader. The trader is not concerned with how much
the stock of a company will rise over the next 2 years. What the trader wants to know is what the stock of the company is going to do over the next 2 hours, or 2 days, or 2 weeks. If you're a trader, then the potential rewards of dabbling in the international markets are too great to stay out of them for fear of losing your shirt because competing traders can consistently outperform you if you don't put at least a small portion of your capital into the foreign markets. So once again, it comes down to what type of investor you are.

In addition, I never said that an investor shouldn't consider international companies when putting together a portfolio. In fact, I said that there is a place in everyone's portfolio for some international exposure. I even said that international exposure is a great hedge against weakness in the domestic markets, so I agree with your hedge philosophy. What I was arguing against was loading up on foreign companies to the point where THEY were the predominant assets in your portfolio and not the domestic staples. But I think that based on your latest email you agree with me on that and that you also think that the domestic staples should remain the foundation of a portfolio.

I must respectfully disagree with your assertion that "the higher the risk the higher the return" is an incorrect statement. As far as perceived risks and assumed returns are concerned, all investors should recognize that nothing is fully guaranteed; otherwise it wouldn't be an investment. But it is a fact that US T-Bills are less risky than corporate bonds. This is a fact due to the sovereign taxation power of the Federal government and it's ability to print money to meet its obligations. The only thing that will prevent the government from meeting its obligations would be for it to crumble, which most likely would be proceeded a complete collapse of the financial markets. So yes, it is less risky to buy T-Bills than corporate bonds, which is why the government pays a smaller dividend than GM pays on its bonds. US Treasuries are not risk free investments, but there is no "maybe" that they are the safest investment out there. We can take it to the efficient frontier (for all of the true finance geeks) if you'd like. And their ability to be sold while offering such low returns also proves my point. If investors perceived that Treasuries were riskier investments they would either demand a higher dividend or a lower price to purchase them.

Also, in terms of receiving dividends, due to the broad variety of women out there I was speaking in general terms. I realize that there are some Black women who are shady as hell, and I realize that there are some foreign women who are as pure as the driven snow. There are always exceptions. What I was asserting are the facts of the situation. It is a fact that it is not likely that you are as able to do the same level of due diligence on a foreign person that you are on a domestic one. You didn't go to school with her. Your boy doesn't date her sister. Your parents didn't go to the same church as hers. You are limited in the resources you can use in the gathering of information about her. Now, you may still end up with a great woman, but if you do it won't be because you were able to really delve into her past and make an educated decision. And because of that perceived lack of transparency there is an added risk premium to that decision, which in turn either drives down the asking price of the stock, or ratchets up the expected return.

You make a great point in comparing the $100 investment to the $10 one, but I think that you are missing one important thing. You stated that you would want at least 5x the return if you were putting up 10x the amount of money. But I think that expectation would only be fair if you perceived that you were taking on the same level of risk between the two investments. I would argue that the fact that the $100 investment commands such a price is evidence that it has significantly less perceived risk than the $10 one. And that is the point that I was trying to make. So I ask you again, if you can invest $100 in what isperceived to be a less risky investment and still make a better return, then why would you invest $10 in the more risky investment? Whether a person has $10 to invest or $100 doesn't matter. My point is that the $100 investment costs that much for a reason, and that reason must be that either it is less risky or provides a better return than other similar investments that cost less money. In compiling a portfolio it is less risky (not risk-free) to have more of the $100 stocks that provide $20 returns. Use the $10 stocks that have the potential to grow to $20 as an accent to the main holdings of the portfolio, but don't get too happy when you have a good month and start selling the $100 staples and buying the now $20 stocks because they can go back to $5 just as quickly as they went to $20. That's what I'm saying…B. Armond Davis
okay before i say one word, i gotta admit to laughing my ass off at this: Girls with dough buy really nice gifts and I love nice gifts. okay to the point.... none of that shit applies to me because i'm poor. HAH! i already swagger the about non-monetary plusses beside my name. i guess it's good that i'm nowhere near the 6 figga mark. i'd be a total asshole…..Quia Q
U know i am gonna have to educate this novice investor about the international market dynamics...CEO Profound Source That B. Davis is ON POINT! Sorry for the full distribution list blast, but it needed to be done…M Nahdri
Have you really already picked out baby names? You're ridiculous. You know that, right? I love you, but you're ridiculous! T Hinton

The Air Up Here, Vol. V - "Get Yours" Edition

Okay, so I was reflecting on some of my writings the other day and it appears that, in the past, I may have been a wee bit judgmental in some of pronouncements. Hey, what can I say? I’m a Virgo. Do you know what a tremendous burden it is being right all of the time? It does have the tendency to make one, well . . . judgmental. However, I will cease to be judgmental anymore (at least on the following topic).

I came to an epiphany a few months ago while driving back from a favorite DC nightspot. While waiting at a red light, an Escalade full of African-American women that rolled-up next to me seemed to object to the ethnicity of my female companion that was riding shotgun. You know how you can just feel someone looking at you? Well, I slowly turned my head and they were all hitting me with the “Look at this trifling-ass Negro” look. I was thinking to myself, “Okay, I know this looks bad. You see me and I got a shirt open, and then there’s the white girl (only half white). But I promise ain’t nobody humping, nobody is humping . . .” Seriously, the event was totally innocent, but I could tell that in their minds I had already been tried, convicted, and sentenced. I could hear the classic line, “With all the black women in D.C. (or Atlanta or Houston or Philly) and you’re selling out.” I’d breakdown the fallacy of that assumption, but it’s not integral to my argument right now. However, what hit me like a ton of bricks the next morning (and no it wasn’t the hangover) was the line from that cheesy NBC PSA with David Schwimmer, “Don’t judge.” As I marinated on those two words for a few hours a whole new philosophy formed within my mind regarding dating. It can be encapsulated in the following two words: “Get Yours!” I know that some of you all just choked on your French fries. Y’all are absolutely shocked and appalled right now. “Isn’t he supposed to be the sensitive one of the group? Isn’t he the one that had readers in tears with his ‘goodbye love’ speech?” Yup, it’s the same one. But I want you to hear me out before you start getting disappointed.

Throughout the years, no one has come down harder on the ladies for running after the “thug life” fools at the expense of the “nice guys” than me. However the more I pondered the situation, the more I realized that my logic was flawed. As a former marketing major, this should have been immediately apparent to me, but back then I let my emotions get in the way. One of the basic tenets of marketing is to give the people what they want (or at least construct a favorable marketing environment activating internal stimuli to create a need for what you are peddling, but I’m not giving a lecture here). If the needs of the consumer go unfulfilled or the buyer makes a “substitution” that appears to satisfy their need but later finds that it is not up to specifications, then the dreaded “cognitive dissonance” sets in. This is more commonly known as “buyer’s remorse.”

To extrapolate this concept to the dating world, if a woman is in the market for “thug life,” but decides to opt for the nice guy, then that relationship is setup for failure. Why? Because no matter how nicely she is treated by that gentleman, in the back of her mind what she really desires is a thug. She doesn’t want a cat that is going to cuddle up next to her during that period of post coital splendor. She wants that dude that is going to get up and do the “beat it up right” dance, while telling her to clean up the living room and get in the kitchen and make some tacos. Therefore, absent a thug, she is not being completely fulfilled in the relationship. Conversely, the “nice guy” is also the getting the short end of the stick. Although she may be the sunshine of his life, there is no way that she is giving the relationship maximum effort (no matter how many protestations to the contrary), because she really wants someone else. Contentment may reign supreme for a moment, but eventually he will realize that her level of commitment is not equal and disillusionment will ensue.

So ladies, if thug life is what you want, what you need (what cha want, what cha need); then go out and get you a fresh out of jail, wifebeater-wearing, dope slanging, pants sagging, roughneck, 50-Cent clone. However (AND THIS IS KEY) when you do, don’t start complaining when that cat doesn’t want to get a job, wants to lay up in your crib eating Cap’n Crunch and playing X-BOX, and looks at you all crazy when you ask him where he’s going, whom he’s going with, and what time he’s going be home. Just shut it up. Oh, and as a loyal reader asked me to put in this section, don’t start calling your friends at all times of day and night complaining about what’s going on, when they told you not to get with that dude in the first place. Trust me; they don’t want to hear it. Keep those lips pressed real tight together because, after all, this is what you wanted.

But don’t just think I’m talking to the ladies; fellas, I’ve got something for you too. I hear the ladies talking about how the brothers only want the video girls with the stripper bodies. Or they only want the light-skinned girls with long hair; regular girls need not apply (I’ll put special emphasis on that topic later). Ladies, they are doing you a favor. If he got with you, a “regular” girl, he wouldn’t be happy. Why? Because every time you all went out he’d be checking out the Amerie-looking girls (my favorites) or thinking about the girls with big ghetto onions (also my favorites). In fact, you could probably say that my favorites would be the Amerie-looking girls with the big ghetto onions (I see you getting ready to push the DELETE button right now, but don’t do it). He wouldn’t be fulfilled, because you “regular girl,” are not what he really wants. Conversely, you would not be fulfilled either, because he would not be giving 100 percent to the relationship and putting you on the pedestal that you so rightly deserve.

So guys, if want to, go ahead and get your own version of Karine Steffans (better known as “Superhead” to most) with a posterior so phat that you could serve a three-course meal off of it. However, don’t start complaining when she starts yapping about why you haven’t given her any money to go shopping with or fixed her weave, why y’all aren’t eating at Tavern on the Green every night, why y’all aren’t taking any trips to the Turks & Caicos, why you’re not tippin’ on four 4’s, and why she absolutely must go the club tonight because Young Jeezy might be there. Yup, when you start hearing this, players, do like the The Roots and don’t say nothing; because you got exactly what you asked for. Oh and I almost forgot the fact that you better start putting in some serious time in the gym, get yourself looking all Ginsu 2000, and develop an affinity for red meat; because I can “gua-ron-tee,” like the late Justin Wilson, that there will be plenty of beef from some fool trying to test just how hard you are (and many times it may be your woman who initiated the conversation in the first place).

The moral of the story is the classic, but still so true, “Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it in heaps / You try to give it back / And God’s like, ‘Nah, that’s yours to keep.’”


--AIR © 2005

The Boondocks

The world's best comic strip finally comes to television in a new animated series. Check it out on Sundays @ 11:00PM EST on the Cartoon Network.

That Ain't Right . . .

For those sports fanatics out there, one question that has been circling around the media lately regards the 10-year contract extension given to Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis. That question, of course, is "Why was Weis given an extension, while Willingham was not?"

Jason Whitlock of The Kansas City Star cogently answers the question in an article written for ESPN.com's Page 2.

"Because only in the land of apple pie, baseball and hypocrisy would a major sports organization have the audacity to give a white football coach a record contract for winning five of his first seven games just a few months after prematurely firing a black coach who won his first eight."

To read the rest of the article check out "Why Weis, but not Willingham?"