TDRS:The No Duh Edition

What Up Fam? What Up Folk? It’s your boy and you know how I do. I am all about spitting that straight FIRE. There aren’t any shoutouts for this edition b/c TDRS hasn’t been active on a consistent basis, but that’s all good. Actually, I do have a big shout out to all those who showed TDRS love with gifts at the Housewarming in September. Big Shouts to Nicole K (thanks a bunch for the shot glasses), E Troupe, Vendetta R (u know who you are and thanks for the $15,000 Bed Bath & Beyond Gift certificate), Jamoke, J Jackson, G-Tate, T Hinton (you are about to join the 31 club in four days) T. Mayo, E Fountain, and anyone else who came through to my new home. The lesson learned from the party was never, ever, ever, put out a bottle of Courvoisier for general consumption.

I’d like to say I’m sorry to those who expect these rants to be in you mailbox every week. I really, really am sorry. I now understand why Dave Chappell walked away from the game. It’s hard to keep people laughing when they’ve laughed so hard already. There is only so much I can talk about in terms of relationships and quite frankly it’s getting old. I am no longer single, so I am out the game. I faded to gray, not to black, but gray. Big Shout to My boy Haas G-Tate III who “Faded to Black” two weeks ago in a very nice wedding ceremony. His playa card has expired! He hadn’t really been using the card anyway, so we closed his account. Congrats, Haas G!

This Week’s Events/People that made me proud to Be Black:

Rosa Parks-Granted this isn’t an event, but her name will forever by synonymous with the civil rights movement. Unlike these “wanna be” take action superstars who talk a big game, Miss Rosa took a stand or better yet refused get up, causing all hell to break loose in this country.

This Week’s Events/People that Embarrassed the Race:

Sheryl Swoopes-I’m sorry, but Sheryl you get no cool points for coming out of a closet that was lit with a 200 watt light bulb and full of other WNBA players. I mean didn’t the movie Jowanna Mann show us that anything goes in the WNBA? We, the public don’t really care about how you or any other athlete “gets down”. Actually now that you’ve come out you’ve got to let the people know the details. Were you a top or bottom?

· Young Jeezy-The self-proclaimed T-R-A-P-S-T-R was paying $150/month in child support until his baby mama decided to sue for an increase to $20K/month. $150/month??? Come on Jeezy. I guess Jeezy has definitely “first off been staking his flow”, instead of sharing the dough. At the end of the day, no one really wants baby mama drama do they? Heaven forbid a “baby mama” that can’t read in the year 2005!

While I’m on the subject of embarrassing, I think I need to list a couple of disappointments over the last few weeks:

The Atlanta Theme Song-The city of Atlanta is embarking on a new marketing slogan and theme to attract visitors to the city that is so on fire (flaming might be the better word) right now that General Sherman is turning in his grave. One of the most anticipated initiatives was the city’s anthem, which was produced by ATL’s own Dallas Austin. While he is by all accounts a talented producer, I have to keep it real and say that the theme song entitled “ATL” was pretty lame. For those who haven’t been privy to the song, I think I can describe it in such away that you’ll understand my criticism. Imagine the hook (“A-T-L’) being sung by Bone Crusher with a mix violins and a beat that could’ve been easily put together by MC Shy D. Add in some soul (the usual 112, jagged edge type of soul) and boom, you got ATL’s new anthem. My vote will forever be Welcome to Atl, by J.D.

Paul Wall-The Peoples Champ- I was totally duped by the so-called “people’s champ” who reps H-town. Anytime Bun-B makes another person’s song hot, don’t buy the album unless Bun B is on every song. That’s all I am saying. Paul that was absolutely terrible and you know you could have saved the chopped and screwed disc for the mentally disabled. Paul says he’s got the “Internet blowing up”. Well Paul let me just say that the http://hollaatyaboys.blogspot.com website got more “hits” than you. I hate to go Fisher Deberry, but “white” rappers suck. There is one exception and that’s Eminem, but that’s it. I’ll never buy another white rapper’s album again.

The $40MM contract to Charlie Weis- Call it being biased or whatever you want, but I am still pissed that Ty Willingham was fired at Norte Dame. I actually was just beginning to get over it, until the “hunch-backs” decided to give a 1st year coach that has gone 5-2 with players that were recruited by Ty (who was 8-0 during his 1st year, btw) a $40MM contract. Please note this was the richest contract in NCAA history, mind you. Let me go on record and say that Tennessee will open up a can on the Irish this weekend. You heard it hear first!

George Bush-I aint mad at him this week for Iraq, Katrina, Harriet Miers, or the leak. I am mad at George b/c he started a near riot at Howard University a week ago when students were not allowed to partake in their weekly Soulfood Thursday’s at the café b/c the President was on campus. Security had the café on lockdown, so students were pissed that they couldn’t get any “ConeBread”.

BET’s 25 Sexiest Women-This has already been talked about amongst the fellas, so I am not going to dwell on the stupidity of the show, namely the title which gave us the impression that it would cover 25 years of the sexiest women. There have been a number of posts out there with brothas posting their personal top 25. I won’t do that, but I’ll instead focus on BET’s list. Here is the list for those that didn’t catch it, with my comments.

25. Lauryn Hill-Classic Pick, but #25? Definitely on the top 10 MILF list.
24. Girlfriends-I mean, the one with the DSL’s would get it, but didn’t the show lose all credibility by naming the entire cast? The list truly isn’t 25 when its actually 27! Come on BET!
23.Monique-Monique before Lauryn Hill. Wow! I will say I’d go for a ton of love with Monique before the “my head lost more weight than I did, Starr Jones”.

22. Toni Braxton-Toni, who shares my b-day, would definitely be on my top 10 MILF list!
21. Lil Kim-Okay Lauryn Hill #25 and Lil Kim 4 spots better. Very interesting!
20.Vivica Fox-Why are the ladies hating on Vivica for dancing on the MTV movie awards? I mean she’s been dancing for crowds since Independence Day.
19.Kelly Rowland-Sleeper, definite sleeper! I hope she doesn’t ever try to run away from Roy because she may end up crippled.
18.Tina Turner-Still got those legs. Speaking of Tina, how in the hell is Angela Bassett not on this list?
17.Lisa Raye-How is her show still on and Kevin Hill is not? She still gets my vote for hooking my boy J Jackson and I up with some Hennessey shirts in Orlando.
16.Stacey Dash- “As if”, didn’t she marry a Caucasian brotha?

15. Vanessa Williams-Clearly there is some age/time discrimination going on. BET clearly wasn’t “Saving the Best for Last”.

14.Ashanti-See my comments above. Ashanti, even today couldn’t hold Vanessa Williams’ period panties! “Aww Baby” should be “Naww Baby”.

13.Mary J Blige-Talented yes! Sexy……enough to be #13?

12.Nia Long-And she’s the comedian Sommore’s sister? Wow, one of these days I am going to write about the little sister theory and how it never really fails. Think about: Venus/Serena, Sandra/Denise, Vanessa/Rudi, E. Johnson & J. Johnson at FAM (both were fine btw).
11.Jada Pinkett –Solid Pic!

10.PAM GRIER-Finally BET is paying homage! She made proud to an “Afro” American after watching some old films.
9.Alicia Keys-Isn’t she the type of girl that you can cheat with and no one would say anything?

8.Gabrielle Union-It’s definitely the dimples! And to think this girl worked at a Payless in Pleasanton, CA just makes me wanna jump off the Bay Bridge. E Fountain, do you think Gabrielle would have bought me an OJ Simpson USC throwback?

7.CIARA-Wow, BET just really did it with this one. Can she reach the age of 25 first? Damn! She’s dating “Bow-Wow” for Pete’s sake…That aint sexy at all!
6.Mariah Carey? I know it wasn’t explicitly stated, but wasn’t this supposed to 25 Sexiest “black” women?

5.Tyra Banks-Hmmm, she get’s in purely for the SI spread back in the day.
4. Aaliyah-See Alicia Keys comments above. If your girl only knew…..

3. Janet Jackson-Extra points if she’s been a MILF for all this time!
2.Beyonce-It’s amazing what staying away from that 2piece Spicy with red-beans and rice, an extra biscuit and grape jelly will do for you.

1. Halle Berry-This may have been the only pick BET did get right.


HollaAtYaBoy!