The Air Up Here, Volume I

Friends, Romans, Countrymen lend me your ears. In an effort to expand my growing empire of commentary and polish my writing skills at the same time I have decided to produce a new column aptly titled "The Air Up Here." The title, of course, being a play on the fact that yours truly is 6'5" and has had to answer that ridiculous question more than once in my lifetime. Basically you can expect all of the features that made The Life & Times . . . so enjoyable except for the fact that I won't be talking about myself (as if that is possible). In my first issue I'm taking on all forms of popular media and the celebrities that dominate it. This is quite lengthy so you might want to read it stages or wait till your lunch break.


1. First up, Mariah Carey. What is she now? R&B singer? Pop diva? Movie star? Whitney Houston wannabe? Stripper? It's kind of hard to keep up these days. Now she's finally gone off the deep end and suffered a breakdown. Break, breakdown, steady breaking me on down (oh, where is Bone Thugs & Harmony to sing the hook when you need them).

2. Speaking of Whitney Houston, she recently signed a deal that is reported to be largest in the history of the record biz. Believe it or not, I don't have anything bad to say about her right now. However, I'm sure that you heard that her husband, the self-anointed "Original King of R&B," had to check himself into a New Jersey hospital. He was reportedly suffering from exhaustion, being overheated, having a fever, etc. He however refused to take a blood test so the doctors could check for any other contributing factors. Hmmm . . . I'm not saying to Bobby might have been up to his old tricks, but if he was it's his prerogative.

3. While I'm on the subject of divas, can Destiny's Child do a performance nowadays without getting booed? We all remember the chorus that the 76ers' fans rained down on them at the NBA Finals. At the Hot 97 Summer Jam after singing "Survivor" and "Bootylicious" and receiving more boos they decided to do the tried and true Showtime at the Apollo trick and sing a gospel song. Beyonce even was quoted as saying, "Let's see if they'll boo God." The trick didn't work. Let's be real, no body was booing God (I don't think anyone is that stupid). It's those wack songs on their last album and Beyonce sensory overload that people don't like. Next topic.

4. For those of you that are not boxing fans or those of you without HBO (read Jamal) you might have missed light-heavyweight champion Roy Jones, Jr.'s foray into the world of hip hop music. On his dazzling debut single "Y'all Must Have Forgot" he waxes poetically in front of a Big Pimpinish backdrop. He spits fire with classic lines such as:

a. "When I beat Bernard Hopkins and won the IBF/ the right was hurt so I beat him with the left."
b. "David Jilesco, he really asked for it/ so I beat him a fractured wrist."
c. And my personal favorite: "Remember the right hook that James Toney got/ a sucka move I stole from a gamecock."

5. Martina Hingis and Martina Navratilova. In a Time magazine article on newsstands now Martina Hingis is attributed to saying," that the Williams sisters only get endorsements because they are black and when anything goes wrong they are always the crutch of blaming their problems on racism. The elder Martina went on the say that no one in the tennis game properly criticizes them because they don't want to be branded as racists and that they (the Williams sisters) should show more respect for the game by devoting more attention to it (e.g. play more tournaments). Without totally delving into my list of objectionable personal experiences, I ask the question: When has being black ever really made it more likely for you to get something? Hold up I've got it. If you count being followed in department stores, receiving ominous stares, having women clutching their purses in elevators, or maybe getting a butt kickin' by the police as perks then maybe Hingis has a point. Every time I hear Hingis or Navratilova or Chris Everett or John McEnroe talking about the Williams sisters, it seems like they have guzzled a nice tall glass of HaterAde first. If Venus and Serena don't feel like playing tournaments that's their decision and why should they be criticized for taking college courses while the majority of the other players on the tour are high school (if that) dropouts. Moving on.

6. Did anyone see Babyface's venture into the world of acting on Soulfood? All I can say is "What the @#$% was he thinking?" Did he not go back and look at the tape of the show before it aired? It had to be the absolute worst acting performance that I have seen since the Lakers' Robert Horry made a guest appearance on Passions. I'm sure Eric remembers the line "Oh look, you learned to play basketball. That's great." Anyway, I digress.

7. Have you all been keeping up with latest installment of The Real World? Well, on the last episode Coral (major attitude) and Nicole (way tooooooooooooo much make up) went shopping instead of working in the office with the rest of casts. When the boss rewards the workers with Outkast (so fresh and so clean) tickets, they throw a major tantrum and pandemonium ensues. What did their lazy behinds think they were going to get for skipping work? A cookie!!

8. Gary Condit. The initials D. A. come to mind whenever they air a story about him on the news. Admittedly, I only watched highlights of the interview, but how he fixed his mouth spew some of those answers just boggled my mind. For example, when asked directly if he had a sexual relationship with Chandra Levy; he goes into this long spiel about how he's been married for 34 years and loves his wife and family very deeply. Thus for the sake of them and of the Levy family he will not comment on that. I just want to know was he thinking about his wife and kids before or after? It's just a thought.


Okay, now that I have thoroughly flamed just about everyone. I will give you my hottest picks in entertainment now available at you local Target, BestBuy, or any other establishment that will relieve you of money.

DVDs:
1. The Best of the Chris Rock Show, Vol.2: This is laugh out loud funny even after watching it over and over again. The Black Progress Chart will have you asking yourself everyday, "Are we there yet?" It's a must-have for any collection.

2. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Beautifully reproduced on DVD; makes me wish I had seen it on the big screen when it first came out. One the best English dubs that I have seen also, definitely not that typical Saturday afternoon martial arts fare from when we were younger. The movie, while thoroughly entertaining and exciting, also gives a powerful "carpe diem" message.

CDs:
1. Hi-Teknology by DJ Hi-Tek: You probably first heard of him on Talib Kweli's "The Blast." The DJ straight from Da Natti has released one of the most original albums that I've heard in a long time. A masterful collection of eclectic beats that you can relax to on your couch or pump up in your ride on the way to club. Features Talib Kweli, FAMU's own Common, and Jonell who sings that "I really don't know what you came here for/ round and round we go" song. I highly recommend it.

2. Superhero by Brian McKnight: Everyone knows what to expect with a Brian McKnight joint - melodic ballads, smooth up tempo songs, and one gospel song at the end to tie it all together. This is your typical Brian McKnight album. He does a collabo with Justin Timberlake that has TRL written all of it. The current single "The Love of My Life" is probably the best song on the album and my personal favorite. My only issue with the album is that a lot the beats aren't original. "The Love of My Life" obviously steals from Prince's "Scandalous", another song sounds like K-Ci and JoJo's "Don't Rush" and still another sounds like Blackstreet's "Tonight's the Night." To top it off, if you check the liner notes absolutely no production credit is given to those artists. Is he trying to take a page out of Lauryn Hill's book here? Just wondering. So if you are a rabid Brian McKnight fan I would say definitely pick up the album. If you are one of those people that builds your CD collection through BMG or Columbia House music clubs I would say save you $11.88 and wait until it hits those outlets. If you were just getting into Brian McKnight music I would skip this album and buy the first two albums Brian McKnight and I Remember You, which are his best by far.

3. Aaliyah by Aaliyah: Words cannot express the loss I felt when I heard the news of her tragic death this past weekend. It's strange that news of celebrity deaths has never really fazed me before. However, hearing of her passing hit me hard. I guess seeing over the years how genuinely sweet she seemed to be and how close she was to her brother made me think about what if that had happened to my sister and brother. I know my world would absolutely come to an end because I love them so much. This is just another reminder that you need to let people know how much they mean to you while they are still here. She is one of the few artists whose albums I actually buy the day they are released because I know it will be that fire. Her new album did not disappoint and is one befitting to be her legacy. It consists of 14 tracks with 8 of them being excellent. My favorites are the Timbaland produced "We Need A Resolution", the Static produced "Loose Rap", and I had to hold back the tears listening to the beautifully haunting "It's Whatever." With this album she seemed to find her own voice and let us in to experience a little bit of her esoteric spirit. She will be missed.


I know this was way long, but I haven't written in awhile and had a lot to say. I must say that it feels good to be back in TallyHo for the fall semester for the first time in two years. I'm still in the same apartment and have the same number if you want to holla, holla. As always take care, much love and God Bless.

--AIR © 2001