TDRS-THE I'M PISSED OFF MAN EDITION

Ahh it’s 11:35am on Thursday May 19th and ya boy TDRS is sitting here multitasking between generating revenue for the bank, communicating with friends via email, and every hour or so catching up with the current news via the net. I honestly wasn’t going to send out a TDRS today, but after seeing Keenyah getting kicked off of America’s Top Model (“Top Model”) and Vonzell being voted from American Idol (“Idol), I just had to put down some of my thoughts. Let me just say that I have never watched Idol or Top Model in their entirety. I only watched Top Model last night b/c it preceded the season finale of my favorite show Kevin Hill, which came on at 9pm. As for Idol, I from time to time turn to FOX just to see what all the hype is about, but quickly change the channel when I hear Randy Jackson say the word “dude” for the umpteenth time or see that Simon has on the same basic black shirt.

As always, let’ get this party started by saying what up to the new readers (Randi, Trent, Jamie, Vanetta, J Hendricks, and J Simpson-The Denver kid,). Let’s get this party started with the mailbag.

THE NFL DRAFT EDITION:
· I Love the "Ti Tay" job point. I support the "Timed Release Ti Tay job", that way you get, I mean enjoy, what YOU pay for. L. Johnson
· anonymous source: don't forget about the international talent their. this is comparable to the high school direct and the surge of eastern european players taking over the top draft spots in the nba. there is a lot of talent beyond these borders. i'd like to see your scouting report when you return from brazil, which is in my opinion the largest source of the diamonds in the rough! · As always, TDRS is worthy of its highly anticipated status. I will say this, though; folks shouldn’t underestimate a strong GM. A strong GM will be your chief scout, your capologist, and war room leader. A strong GM is someone who sees his retirement as a measure of success from playing the game, not as an alternative to playing it. Signs that you have a strong GM:
Your GM is willing and able to roll with you on a regular basis; with his Assistant GM’s blessing. He will have to cut the night short, but won’t do so until you are at least within field goal range;
Your GM will help you prioritize based on where you ARE in the game, not where you SHOULD be;
Your GM associates with other strong GM’s. The “birds of a feather” rules you’ve been talking about to this point apply with your GM also; and, finally,
Your GM actually left the game on his own terms. No need to elaborate on the importance of this one……M Nadhri
Ah Grasshopper, your skills are growing stronger week by week, like a fierce dragon! This is a personal best for you so that means you have stepped up to the next level in your training. Keep this up and soon you’ll be able to retrieve the stone from the Masters hand!……Sinsai (Yas) · Aiight, i had to reply to this one bro. Great edition again, you continue to outdo yourself! You wrong for calling out Jason White, you're killlig all of us Sooner fans on your list. However, we do have a helluva lot of National Championships to look back on, and I guarantee we'll be in the running again next year. Also, you didn't mention the recent advent of "foreign players". I'm talking Yao/Hideo type stuff. Your "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" section of "how to get a good black man" didn't include mention of the Asian honeys. Brothers all around the country (and white boys too) are catching onto the "talent" in this market. They are well known for working hard for the team and not causing any drama…. J Reid. Yo J, I hear you on the Asian honey’s but I can’t go there. Okay before Mitch writes in, “Suki Son” was a real cool Japanese chick. Sorry folks but you’d have to have been in Shanghai in 1996 or soon afterward to understand. Anyway, J, I am just not attracted unless they are black-asian (how you like that LG Tate). I had to think of someway to keep giving props to Amerie. Btw, is it just me or are there way to many ladies wearing those short skirts like Amerie has in the “its just one thing” video. I love it! How To Find A Good Black Man Edition· As for feedback: My peeps dont know about the "official" OMSA list but I'm definitely on a few lists like that *heh*. Also, is it possible to be a member of a crew AND a squad (at different times)? Because some venues require unabridged squad action, complete with with the breeze from the A/C blowing your hair as you enter the door, walking to the beat of the song on the system.... And then, there's those times when you and your Crew crash someone's pool party with the UGK CDs out your trunk... I'm just sayin' tho. *And I'm asking this on the behalf of a friend, of course...* Also, I know I'm new, just in case you've addressed something like this but can you tell my WHY dudes think it's sexy to whisper ish in a woman's ear like "beat the p****y up, beat the p****y up..." -OR- one i've heard before, "guhl gimme dat p****y." It's all sex and violence, not only do most chicks not LIKE the word "pu**y" but then the ni**a is tombout being EXTRA aggressive on it. Um... OW! Peace Ric and I'm looking forward to the next post…..Quia

Mood Swings:
Be patient with me because I’m about to ramble for a bit. From time to time, I get into these moods that are more serious (yeah right) than usual and for whatever reason I am in one today. Actually it’s not that I am in a serious mood, it’s that I am just PISSED OFF MAN. Actually, I have been pissed off since Saturday night when I went to a party where I had to stand in line for “drink tickets” only stand in another line to redeem my drink tickets. J Jackson, I love you man, but Ya Boy is not done with his “bitching” about hotel parties. One stupid hotel party caused my dog and I to have a slight argument and that $hit, like Kenny (aka “Bud”) from the Cosby show says in Not Another Teen Movie, is WACK!

Anyway, after watching Vonzell and Keenyah getting kicked off last night I realized that I am truly pissed off with being the minority. I am proud to be black but I am really, really tired of being the minority. It really hit home yesterday when the President of Mexico, Vicente Fox (yeah the President of Mexico) said that Mexicans were hardworking people and that they were taking jobs that not even blacks would do. What the fuc!#k? Why does it have to be the blacks? I mean Sa-Da-Tay. Clearly Mr. Fox doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut, b/c he has royally pissed TDRS off. My apologies to any readers of Mexican descent but I got something to say to Mr. Vicente and any Mexicans who think like him. Don’t hate on us when your people:

Stand out in front of every Home Depot, Lowes, Ace Hardware, or Kelly Moore Paint shop like it’s a soup kitchen. Shout out to my west coast folks who cruise down Casear Chavez St. in San Francisco that see this ridiculousness first hand.
Will jump at the chance to mow my girl Eb’s grass for two tall can’s of Budweiser, one can of “potted” meat and a couple of packs of saltine crackers. And that’s the total charge for Paco, HaySus, Miguel and Miguel’s little cousin Casear.
Think their Greyhound bus ticket can be redeemed for miles on Southwest Airlines
Get hated on by other Latino’s. Don’t go and call a Puerto Rican, a Cuban, or even a Domincan for that matter, a Mexican or there will be hell to pay.
Has at least one relative who voluntarily risked their life by “running” or “floating” into this wonderful country we call America. I mean at least we got here on a boat as opposed to some jacked up tire off an old Chevy NOVA. Doesn’t NOVA in Spanish mean “no go”?
Single handedly keep the “calling card” business in BUSINESS! When Mexican’s get a hold of cell phones, I bet you money that “In calling” on Verizon will no longer be free.
Drink this horrible orange soda that can’t hold Fanta Orange’s jock strap.
Have to roll 50 burritos before making the same amount a money brotha makes for rolling one joint.
Getting their a$$ handed to them by the Asians who got them cooking egg rolls at Cumberland Mall in the ATL. What a joke!

Let me just stop dashing water on Mexican’s backs (I just made myself laugh) because I am losing sight of my main point and that is that I am tired of being a minority. I don’t care how much money or how smart, we, as black people get, we will always be at a disadvantage. The “Man” simply outnumbers us. I mean let’s take a look at reality television…

Reality Television
I want to know if it is it extremely difficult (or rare for that matter) for black people to pull off the “three peat” in “reality television? Let’s discuss a few shows shall we:

American Idol
I mean we had the “back to back” with Reuben and Fantasia, but the dream of a 3-peat has been dashed this year with Vonzell getting booted off. I mean really do you think the “Man” was going to allow us to pull off the 3-peat.

The Amazing Race
We won the amazing race one year, but I haven’t really seen a black couple since.

The Real World
We can’t get more than two black people on any Real World, yet there is always some bia bia (see the D/L Coming Out Edition) on there. I mean I understand there being one black person out of seven, but why does there have to always be one bia bia? 1/7 is roughly 14%, which is in-line or slightly higher than black population numbers, but is this country truly 14% bia bia? Heck no and that is why I am pissed off man.

America’s Top Model
Before delving into this absolutely horrible show, let me pontificate on the show’s title. Let’s just start at the beginning with America. How in the world is this America’s top model when the show is watched in only 2.9% of the households in America. That’s right 2.9%. Even worse, this show doesn’t even let “the people” or better said, my fellow Americans vote for who should be the top model. Are you telling me that America’s top model wasn’t decided via a vote of the people? Isn’t this an oxymoron? I’m just asking.

What’s worse is that the host of Top Model (Tyra a.k.a. “headquarters”) is black. And who in the world would consider the one step away from Alley Mcbeal stage white chick or the could be a straight up transsexual girl who actually has a Mohawk and is a mix of Italian and something else to be “top models’? Again, this is why I’m pissed off MAN!

The Bachelor & The Bachelorette
I care not to comment on the bachelor/bachelorette because I get pissed ere-time I see some type of ad hyping up the show. I mean can we get a bachelor or even a bachelorette to move past the second round on the All Be Caucasian Channel (ABC) that’s owned by Disney. I mean it would be nice to see a black girl or guy, as the main character for once wouldn’t it? I mean they could really put one of those clearly black but “other” persons on the show as the main character, which would allow them to have a pretty diverse pool to choose from.

Kevin Hill
I know this isn’t a reality TV show, but I need to comment because it is my favorite show. So USA Today reported that the show Veronica Mars will return next season on UPN but Kevin Hill is uncertain (actually cancelled according to the LA Times). Let me just say that I am disgusted. I mean Michael Michelle, Tony Braxton and ole girl who got her teeth straight and a ti-tay job Meagan Good (I still remember those front teeth that weren’t so straight in the movie Eve’s Bayou) in one episode was just awesome, yet this show is likely to be cancelled. I mean Homeboys from Outer Space had at least 21 episodes.

To get to the point, I’m just saying that our people need to come together and just make love. , Alright lets first get married and then make love. Let’s go out there and produce a nation of millions. Millions make millions and the more millions we have, the more power we’ll have. We’ve tried to:

1. Do the whole economic empowerment thing and that clearly isn’t working.
2. Desegregate the show Friends with my future girlfriend’s cousin, sister’s, father, daughter (Aisha Tyler) but the show is over now and clearly did nothing for our “minority status”.

The only way to beat the “man” is to be the man. The Latino’s understand this and are producing straight up soccer teams. The own California and signal handedly decided the 2000 presidential election. Those damn Cuban Americans. I mean they got two exclusive TV channels and I’m sorry UPN is not our channel. Heck BET isn’t even ours anymore. And this my friends, is why I’M Pissed OFF MAN!

Back to Life, Back to Reality:
Sorry for my ramble, but I was just really pissed off today. Unfortunately it is going to spill a bit more into my discussion of the real life out there on them streets. Actually I won’t spend too much time b/c as I was told this weekend “no one is having fun when I’m bitching”. Anyway, as I alluded to earlier, I went to a hotel party this weekend at the Sheraton in Atlanta. The party was called the Old School Saturday party, which sounds nice but in REALITY it really wasn’t.

First of all it cost $15 dollars for my “bitch-ass” to get into the party. Now last time I checked, parties back in the day used to be free or cost maybe $5. Yeah, so much for the old school admission price huh? I didn’t really care about paying $15 bucks because I had dropped $60 before I even got my first drink at the Compound the night before. Yeah my night at the Compound was like a visa commercial: Parking $20, Paying to cut the general admission line $20 (which btw was only 10 people deep but the promoter was trying to call it a “cut line” and charge $40), cover charge $20, saying something nice to a young lady only to get dissed in the worst way…..Priceless!

Anyway, back to the Ol School Party. What really pissed me off was that I had to stand in line to get a drink ticket at the hotel party. I mean when buying drink tickets you have to basically be a fortune teller b/c a true alcoholic has no earthly idea how much he or she is going to drink in a night. Do I buy 2 or do I buy 3? I’m sorry, I wish I had some sort of rule to breakdown with regards to “drink ticket” dynamics, but I can’t help you. My only advice is to NOT ATTEND ONE OF THESE PARTIES. I will say though that the smartest thing to do is to use your drink tickets all at once, which is basically making whatever drink you have a double or a triple.

The Two-Minute Drill
The only good thing that came out of my time at the Sheraton was material for this weeks TDRS. I’d like to give a big shout out to my boy Calvin Gladney in the Bay Area who was down in ATL this past weekend and decided to kick it with my man J Jackson and myself. I have to quote the great Billy Tubbs (former coach of the Sooner basketball squad that let Danny Manning $hit all over them in NCAA tournament back in day….my apologies to J Reid and the rest of the OU folks on the distro list) who said the “best defense is a great offense” in describing the 3 hours I spent with Calvin out there on them streets. It was all about trying to put some points on the board. My man had an away game in a somewhat hostile environment, which was loud and hot. The air conditioning had broken in the main room and it was pretty close to being unbearable. Imagine being stuck on a NYC subway train in dead summer (or your riding in your car in rush hour traffic in Texas during the summer months and a fuse blows that causes you’re a.c. to break and windows to not wind down) and you got the Old School Party at the Sheraton last week. Despite these obstacles my man was directing the “two-minute drill” like a charm. Dare I say Peyton Manningesque?

So what’s the two-minute drill? Well the two-minute drill occurs at the end of the second quarter before half time and of course in the fourth quarter when everything is on the line.

So what’s the big deal with the two-minute drill? Well, when a team has to implement the two-minute drill in the fourth quarter it usually means they are behind and they have to score quickly. Our crew was behind the minute we entered the party because we didn’t get our first drink until around midnight and the heat from the a.c. being broke had caused many of the ladies to exit the field.

So how do you run the two-minute drill?
Instead of sitting there and flying back to Cali with a loss, my man Calvin implemented his version of the two minute drill, which is to drop back, survey the field, and just throw the ball deep. This was not necessarily a “Hail Mary” pass because my man had a target. He wasn’t just throwing the ball up there for anybody to catch it.

So what happened? Well, this is where I’ve got to fess up and say I’m sorry to the quarterback. I mean Calvin connected on a pass (and it was a pretty nice catch if you know what I mean), but I didn’t block downfield for him. I’m thinking his receiver could have taken it to the house had I blocked her “girl” downfield. I feel bad bro and I’ll have to make it up to you one day. I can’t help it but all I do is catch touchdowns. It’s extremely difficult for me to be the wingman and block downfield. To all of my boys out there, I am going to repeat TDRS is not a downfield blocker. When the game is on the line, I want to be an option, not a decoy. I’m just saying.

So what should the ladies learn from this? The main lesson here is to not fall for the “Hail Mary” pass. I mean I know the fellas are going to get mad, but a few of the ladies on this distro list are my girls/sisters who I at times feel the need to look out for. Since many of the ladies don’t watch NFL Primetime with Chris Berman and Tom Jackson, I feel the need to share the wisdom of the show. In a game when you and your crew are ahead (ya’ll got in the club for free and someone bought the crew a round of drinks) don’t get beat by the 50-yard bomb that some brothas be trying to throw to win the game. Whenever there is a “Hail Mary” pass you should as Tom Jackson says “knock it down”. You shouldn’t try to catch the pass because when you do, the ball gets tipped around and someone actually does catch it, someone like your girl. I mean how many times have you ladies been out on them streets and you can’t go home b/c one of your girls has to talk to some guy who came out of nowhere. Yep, your girl caught the Hail Mary and that brotha is going to score!

X’s and O’s
Now depending on the how the defense is playing there are different plays or options in the two- minute offense. Some brothas out there run the two-minute drills with very precise plays such as the five to ten yard ‘out” route. Basically ladies a brotha is doing all he can to get you chase him to the sidelines or away from your crew by saying things like “hey can we go and talk somewhere”.

There also those brothas out there who’ll take what the defense gives them and run a straight up draw play for a first down. What’s the draw play? Well ladies it’s pretty smple. When you are sitting there at the club thinking a particular brother is looking to go deep on you, he hands the ball off to his boy who then spits nothing but game to your girl. A little confused? Let me break it down further for you. Some of you ladies out there are straight up Deion Sanders (in his jerry curl prime-time days) type players. Whenever you go out, you shut brothas down left and right. They throw a good pass and y’all straight up deflect it. Well guess what, Deion can’t play the entire field, so brothas say to hell with throwing to your side and either just hand the ball off to his boy to run on your girls or they just don’t throw to your side of the field. All I’m saying is that once some of ya’ll stop being so damn STANK at the club, maybe just maybe brothas will respect you. Oh yeah to the Biatch that staight up deflected my nice spiral on Friday night at the Compound that was truly uncalled for. Yeah you are the chick that had the all white dress on looking like you were on the stewardesse board at Down by the Riverside Mount Tabernacle Faith Hope Life Church of God & Christ in Canaan Ga (no people there is no Canaan in GA). Honestly, when I hit them streets, ya’ll will forever be biatches unless I know you. And you are damn right if you say TDRS is straight up PISSED OFF, because I AM!

Final Thoughts……
Well I know this is a short edition (it’s really not that short huh?) and I really apologize for me slacking this week. I was on a trip to South Africa trying to find Dave Chappelle and was unsuccessful, which has truly had an impact on my creativity this week. The cool thing is that the HollatYaBoys website is all set up and pretty much all of the 2005 TDRS Editions are posted. Click on the following link: http://hollaatyaboys.blogspot.com. Please check it out and catch up on your TDRS readings or even read some of the archives that contain rants by Mr J Jackson and E “the Rattlesnake” Fountain (The 2002 New Orleans Review is a must read) and the too be posted works of LG Tate.

Until next week, HollaAtYaBoy!