The Air Up Here, Vol. VI - "The C.R.E.A.M. and the Clear" Edition

I’m not writing this because I am a huge Barry Bonds supporter, I’m not. But your boy hates to see hypocrisy flourish unabated without at least calling it out, and that’s what I’m doing now. The investigation that Major League Baseball (MLB) has opened regarding the “Steroids Era” with a special emphasis on Barry Bonds, at best borders on the ridiculous; and at worst has too many associations with Salem, Massachusetts circa 1692. This inquiry is a sham, a farce, a blatant capitulation to two of the basest motivations of our society: racism and money. That’s right, I said it. I pulled the “R” word from my freshly opened deck of race cards that I received in the mail this week straight from the O.J. Manufacturing Plant. I say this completely tongue-in-cheek, because everyday I look for my O.J. prize and it’s still not here, but I digress.

The reason that I am approaching this topic from the perspective of race is because I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard commentators state that it would a tragedy (their words, not mine) if Barry Bonds were allowed to break Babe Ruth’s record. Marinate on those last four words for a second . . . “break Babe Ruth’s record.” The last time I checked the record books, which isn’t often because I will also admit that I don’t like baseball; Henry “Hank” Aaron was still the undisputed Home Run King of American baseball (don’t want to disrespect Sadaharu Oh). I mean Babe Ruth has to be the most talked about, most celebrated runner-up in the history of modern sports. It’s real pathetic. Many of the commentators and maybe even some of you, will counter that it’s not about race; it is about the “integrity of the game” (I’ll have more on that later) and keeping the record books pure. Oh, they want to keep the records “pure” alright. They don’t want them tainted by the unfair advantage of performance enhancing drugs. To which I say, “Are they for real?!?” For one, baseball players have used performance enhancing drugs for years. Going back as far as least the 1960s, it has been reported that guys were poppin’ caffeine tablets and amphetamines to be more alert and maintain their energy levels throughout the year. For two, although not a drug, we cannot overlook the biggest performance enhancer for players in Ruth’s era: that being that their records were achieved in a segregated league. You think if Ruth had to face Satchel Paige in his prime (not the 40+ version that eventually made it to the big leagues after integration) that he wouldn’t have hit a few less homers? Exactly. Say what you want, but the competition was watered down when every other segment of society is excluded from participating except for one.

And don’t get me started on the “integrity of the game” argument because that is even more asinine. Baseball, just like any other business, is all about that paper, cheese, cheddar, dinero, bread, greenbacks, scratch, mayo, cream, dollar dollar bills y’all. Its actions are strictly guided by what is going to bring in the most revenue, consequences be damned. I’ll illustrate. After the strike-shortened and World Series-free season of 1994 (a strike which coincidently probably kept Ken Griffey, Jr. from breaking the single season HR record) baseball fell from its perch as America’s pastime and preeminent sport and settled in behind football, basketball, and even was being challenged by hockey (which has virtually no presence on the American sports landscape today). The seasons that occurred immediately after the shortened one of 1994, gave rise to a new breed of baseball player. Gone were the skinny, fast players like Ozzie Smith or the chunky sluggers like Cecil Fielder. They were replaced by the hulking physical specimens like Bonds, Maguire, and Sosa. The latter two whose home run chase in the so dubbed “Magically Summer of 1998” cemented baseball’s position back in consciousness of the general public. It also cemented record attendances, record endorsements and sponsorships, and record revenues for all parties involved.

“Cash rules everything around me / C.R.E.A.M. / Get the money / Dollar, dollar bills y’all.”

Everyone saw the transformation that had taken place in these players, but no one cared because the long-ball hitting freaks were putting fannies in the seats. But then the BALCO scandal hit and Congress decides to investigate steroids in sports, because “If we don’t, what will tell the children?” This within itself is ironic coming from a group of individuals that still can’t tell the children what the hell we are doing in Iraq, and a group that continues to kiss the rings of their corporate taskmasters at every turn. You know what? Scratch that, it makes perfect sense because Congress pimps itself harder than those pros at Hunt’s Point, but again I digress.

So now that Barry Bonds is on the cusp of breaking what some have called the greatest record in professional sports, the fecal matter is finally hitting the whirling device. Some say that baseball is investigating to maintain the sanctity of the game, but like all of the arguments that have been put forward before, this too is a lie. Cutball king Don Sutton is in the Hall of Fame and Spitball wizard Gaylord Perry is also celebrated. These individuals were both cheaters, who because of their affable personalities were given a pass. The books by Jose Canseco and the as yet released Game of Shadows aren’t the impetus either. Are they cause for discussion? Yes. Are they the reason that this investigation is going forth? No. As with most things in life, answers can be found by simply following the money. The power of the almighty dollar. Some of baseball’s major corporate sponsors like Bank of America and a few others have threatened to rescind their patronage of MLB if there were no investigation. Once again, this is also ironic considering that some of these corporations have very checkered histories. Bank of America has consistently been cited for the practice of “redlining” and engaging in predatory lending practices. And don’t get me started on how the Banking Lobby pushed through new bankruptcy laws that are not consumer friendly and utilize practices like universal default to squeeze more money out of those that can least afford it. If you don’t believe me, put the words “bank of america” and “redlining” into a Google search and see what you come up with or you can just click here. The fact that these companies now, all of the sudden, want to take the moral high road is just sickening.

As I stated when I started this piece, I am not really a Barry Bonds supporter. I could care less if he passes Babe Ruth (which will probably be accomplished by the time you read this) or Hank Aaron for that matter. Although, I must say, that I am one who believes that records are made to be broken. Do I believe that Barry Bonds steroids? The answer to that question is really irrelevant. I do know that he has never been reported to have failed a drug test. Draw your own conclusions. What I don’t like, what I cannot stand is to be lied to and that is all that this investigation is . . . a big, bright, shining lie. Major League Baseball, the sports commentators, the major corporations, and those clowns in Congress are no better than Rafael Palmeiro when he looked straight into the camera, waived his finger defiantly, and stated that he did not take steroids “Period! I ain’t lying. I put that on my grandma.” Okay, so I embellished the last two sentences, but if you haven’t seen the tape of his Congressional testimony, I highly recommend it. It’s straight comedy. Of course we found out just a few months later that Mr. Palmeiro had failed a drug test for steroids. Similarly, MLB should not be telling these fabrications like Rafael. They should just stand up and say that “We are conducting this investigation to protect our profits, period!” The sports commentators should just stand up and say that “We don’t like Barry Bonds, period. He’s mean and surly and he’s treated us (the media) like crap throughout his career. We think Babe Ruth is the greatest thing since sliced bread and this is the payback.” The corporations should say that “Our customers think that Barry Bonds took steroids and we don’t want our name associated with what we believe is a fraudulent record because it may adversely impact our bottom line.” And Congress, they should just shut up and do something useful like finding a way to provide universal healthcare or increasing the minimum wage . . . the cost of living ain’t getting no cheaper.

As I bring this to a close, I say we should all tone down the rhetoric and feigned outrage over Mr. Bonds. It’s not like he’s Governor Barry or President Barry or Pope Barry. He is just Barry Bonds, professional athlete. Whether or not he breaks the home run record will have minimal impact on people’s lives in the long run. It’s not like he sent the country into war under false pretenses. Give the man a break. History will be the ultimate arbiter of the veracity of his accomplishments.