TDRS: The WHITE GIRL EDITION PART I

Hmmm….What up Fam, What up Folk? It’s ya boy and you know that it’s about to be “going down”, like my name is Young Joc. It’s been a minute and I aint apologizing b/c you can’t really rush quality right? This aint some fast food blog that serves the same old burgers and fries to you once a week. The TDRS is fine food, a meal that’s worth waiting for; a meal where one should sit down and enjoy over wine/beer/henny or whatever you like to drink. I have to apologize to the ladies on this one b/c I know you don’t care to hear about anything concerning dimes (10s), particularly those of the caucasion ilk. Unfortunately, I have to keep a promise and dedicate a TDRS to the white chicks, the Betty’s and Suzanne’s of the world. No, I’m talking about the latinas that look white, because I could just mention Jessica Alba and this discussion would be over. I’m talking about those good ole beer drinking (out of the bottle), sun bathing (topless), brink of anorexia, white chicks!

The Modern Day History
I’ve listened to countless talk shows on the subject of black men and white women and it inevitably turns into a war on the brothas. That’s fine and all, but in my eyes it’s not a problem. There is nothing that needs to be solved. Moreover, people who even ask the question of “why” are going about it all wrong. Their entire premise is just flawed. The question should be more so “how”.

See ladies, if a black man is what you want, then you need to know and understand how to catch him. If all you “allegedly” see is black men with white women, then stop, take a deep breath and ask what she did to attract him. Yes, we all know the myths about how white women have…sorry, give better brains, but my sistahs, they don’t just do that out of the box.

I am thinking about writing a book called Elementary My Dear Watson, which will take a different angle on the subject of black men and white women…..and it will be from the white women’s perspective. Check out an excerpt from the first two chapters….

Chapter 1: Elementary Game
White girl game starts way back in elementary school. For those who grew up in Jacksonville, Southside Chicago, and most of Atlanta, you probably won’t relate because you probably didn’t have a white friend until…well, you probably still don’t have one. Anyway, like I was saying, white girl game starts way back in elementary school…more like kindergarden…stay with me now.

Kindergarten is little 5-year old Suzie’s first experience with 5-year old, Tvarius Mcghee, who I hope you figured out is black. From birth to age 5, Suzie has seen nothing but her dad, uncles, and grandfather, all of whom are white, so it’s no big deal adjusting to the “Kevins and Zachs” in her class. What throws little Suzie off is little Tvarius, who’s just so cool and really good at kickball. Little Tvarius is so different and what’s really crazy is the fact that little Tvarius can give a damn about her. Suzie is not accoustomed to men not giving her attention.

Okay, now all that I have discussed so far is Suzie and Tvarius. I am sure you’re wondering what’s happening with LaKreetia. Well, Lakreetia is watching all of this from the start and yet has no clue about what is going on. Unlike Suzie, LaKreetia didn’t grow up around men (maybe not even a father), so she can care less about getting any attention. What’s really crazy is that Suzie and Lakreetia become like really, really, good friends. Y’all know I am telling the truth…I remember looking at all those pics of my little sister and her friends in elementary school and most of them included a couple of miscellaneous white girls. Things were so innocent then.

Meanwhile, little Suzie is starting to plot, even though she is only 5-years old. She wants that attention from Tvarius. She even goes so far as to tell her now best friend LaKreetia about her attraction and you know what happens next. Lakreetia, who doesn’t even like Tvarius, becomes the match-maker and things start to become really interesting. Why does LaKreetia do this? Well, I forgot to mention that Suzie has really nice toys and hair that’s cool to play with, so for all she knows, she is just being a really good friend. Oh and I should also add that Suzie started giving Tvarius some of her chocolate covered cookies that were packed in her cool Barbie lunch box. We all know that Tvarius was on the free or reduced lunch plan, so getting chocolate cookies was off the chain.

Chapter 2: Braces & Skirts
Let’s jump to middle school. Middle school is a really confusing time for little Suzie. She’s grown up now and is noticing that the Zachs and Kevins, approach her differently. She’s also noticed that Tvarius is even more, cold, and pretty much only eats lunch with the other black kids. Lakreetia is still her friend, but they don’t have sleepovers anymore. To top it all off, her parents are forcing her to get braces, which she knows is bascially going to kill her social life for awhile. So little Suzie starts plotting again and this time, its about to get a little serious. She doesn’t want to play sports because she unconsiously knows that it’s a bit too masculine, so she decides to be a cheerleader. She watches the show “15” on Nickelodean and tries to replicate the fashion of some of the characters. She understands that she can offset the braces by dressing a bit more fashionable (or sexy).

Football season starts in late September and Tvarius is the running back. This means Tvarius is the star of the show, b/c no one throws the ball in middle school, so the QB position ranks right down the list with long snapper. Tvarius is quick and scores many touchdowns, which means, the cheerleaders are just filled with the “spirit”. After the game, Suzies dad, who is a sports fanatic, just raves about Tvarius…he even contributes heavily to the booster club. Now this really, really gets Suzie going b/c Dad is not only supporting the football team, but he really seems to care about Tvarius…or so that’s what she thinks. Tvarius even starts to think that Suzie’s dad cares too and so they move closer…

I am going to just stop here and wait to see if the people want more.

Holla At Ya Boy