The Air Up Here, Vol. V - What You Won't Do for . . . Edition

Before I start, I want to shout out my man Ric Simon who has been putting it down EVERY WEEK with that “TDRS.” He may be the hardest working man in the commentary game right now, but you all know I’m still the King of Consonance, the Vizier of the Verb, and the Prince of Prose. Stay tuned for our Blog that will be launching soon, we might just have something special planned for you.

For those of you wondering how I cannot talk about the political landscape after the election, I have another 4 years to talk about what I’m sure will be as equally a display of incompetence and ineptitude as the first term. I haven’t lost the zeal to write about that or make predictions. For those who were eating with me at Amy Ruth’s on 116th back in 2000, you heard me predict that there would probably be a war in Iraq in the 3rd year of your boy’s term. I said it sincerely hoping that it wouldn’t come true; however, I watched in horror as my worst fears were confirmed. Although I don’t attend church as regularly as I used to, I am still reminded of that passage “Your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.” Maybe that was mine. I will, however, put off talk about the political landscape because these other issues are paramount to what is happening in my life right now. I look toward the future with grave concern. Lately, I find myself wondering more and more just what type of world will my children grow up in? (Yes, Mama, I do want some. No, I haven’t done anything that should raise your concerns about being a grandmother yet.) With that said, here is the 2005 Love Edition, Part 2. By the way, this one of those print out and take with you editions.

1. THE LINE. “I’ve got my finger / On the trigger / I’m gonna pull it / Then we gon’ see / What’s the deal . . .” What if you were on the verge of having everything that you ever wanted in life? It is so close to you that you can almost touch it, almost taste it. There is only one catch. To possess it you must do something that you said you never would do. If it were that close to finally being yours, would you step over the line and claim or let it drift off into the ether?

For those of you that have seen Bedazzled (not a movie that I am recommending) it is analogous to making a deal with the devil. You ask him to make you irresistible to women, and he does, but he also makes you gay. You ask him to make you rich and he does, except that he turns you into a drug lord and the Feds are closing in on you. Yes, you can have what you want, but there may literally be hell to pay. Once again, what would you do? It’s one of those situations where you have crossed the line and compromised in little ways in the past to obtain what you want. However, if you keep crossing the line and crossing the line, step-by-step you journey so far away from what you once held as your core that you are not the same person. How do you recognize when you have gone beyond compromising in certain circumstances to totally being compromised? Culture Club (pick up that Greatest Hits album, it’s fire) had a song named “Time” that stated “Time won’t give me time / and Time makes lovers feel like they have something real / but you and me you know we have nothing but time / and Time wont give me time." How do you know that what you have purposed in yourself all these years is what you what you really want or need now? Is it really your heart’s desire or has it been what Thoreau would characterize as your “myopic only” for so long that you do not know that something else may be better for you. There comes a point in everyone’s life when they will be standing at the proverbial crossroads wondering what direction to take. Usually there are a few points. Even in my short time here I can look back on 3 or 4 situations that if I had taken a different course of action, said or not said something, my life would be dramatically different from the one I am living now. I am sure that if you take honest inventory of your lives you will see the same.

Right now something that I have wanted, that I have longed for, that I have worked hard to obtain is standing right before me. All I have to do is cross that line one more time. However in the process of getting to this point, I have crossed the line so many times already that I am afraid that if I get what I want that will ultimately be disenchanted with it because of what I have become and what I had to do in the process. Throughout our lives we all make compromises, we all sellout a little bit; whether it be for family, jobs, relationships, or money. Regardless of if you admit it or not, you know it’s true. The question is how much is enough and how far is too far? When does it get to the point that you have lost your principles, lost your values, lost your soul? When does it reach the point where that victory that you think you have gained is in every sense of the word “Pyrrhic?” I would appreciate your comments on this one.

2. WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS? My favorite quote lately goes, “Just as darkness doesn’t come all at once, neither does oppression. There is always a period of twilight in which we must be most on guard for the winds of change, lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.” Former Chief Justice William O’Douglas was referring to civil liberties when he made those comments, but for me it has taken on a different meaning lately. It perfectly encapsulates the way that I view friendship and it should define the way anyone regards his or her friendship with me. There are times when everyone’s friendships are tested. Will they bend and snapback or will they be irrevocably broken, forever shattered? Most people would agree that I am a pretty nice individual; being a guy, this is possibly the worst character trait to have. In friendships and relationships people have wrong me and depending on the egregiousness of the offense, I would normally just let it slide. However the hurt remained and pain persisted. As the years rolled by and the offenses started to accumulate, I reached the point where I usually ended-up telling the offending party to go “Cheney” themselves and lose my contact information. They were left in a bewildered state wondering, “What happened? He was so nice just yesterday.” What they failed to realize is that what happened at that moment was just the tipping point; the underlying cause of my outburst was the cumulative effect of those incidents over the years. To explain it in parable form, each offense was like a cut. Although the cuts heal, scars still remain. Over time if you keep opening the same wounds they will not heal and that friendship that you once held dear is laying on the ground bleeding to death. (I know the imagery is slightly gruesome, remind me not to write after watching Nip/Tuck).

The salient takeaway from this is not that friends do not make mistakes and shouldn’t be forgiven, because they do and they should. What I am trying to convey is that you should take care of your friends, cherish them, covet them, do not take them for granted. Those seemingly innocuous offenses add up and just because someone forgave you in the past and let it slide does not mean they will do so in perpetuity. Furthermore, I implore you to take better care of yourself. If you are the individual that is usually accommodating to others wrongs, I ask you to purge those individuals from your life. I know that if may be hard especially if it involves a family member, a romantic relationship, or a friendship that has spanned many years. Yet, you must honestly ask yourself what is that friendship doing for me now? If the answer is “nay-thing” then in the words of Teddy Pendergrass, “I think (you) better let it go.” Sometimes you must be “selfish” in the most positive sense of the word. You must look out for what is best for you. If those individuals in your life aren’t helping you to strive for excellence, achieve greatness, or move on up to the Eastside, then you need to keep on moving without them.

3. TALES FROM THE DISTRICT. Since I have moved to the DC area, I have been taking public transportation almost exclusively and traveling quite a bit for my job. These are just a few observations from my journeys.

On the Metro:
a. I’ve noticed a stark difference between the individuals on the Metro that walk up the escalator and those that do not (Picture the difference between Tyson Beckford and Charles Barkley). Those of you that are familiar with the DC Metro know that it is so far underground at some stations that it is like descending into the depths of hell, but the distance makes coming up the steps a pretty challenging workout in the morning. It is one of those small things that you can do to improve your health without trying too hard. With the epidemic rates of obesity in this country, I would advise everyone to get moving.

b. I am more than happy that everyone exercises proper hygiene by taking a shower in morning. However please do not douse yourself in a scented product if you are going to ride the train. When I step on the Metro each morning, I am instantly greeted by an amalgam of fragrances consisting of Old Spice, Hi-Karate, Stetson, hair spray, Vicky Secrets body lotion, and numerous other aromatics. Separately these products may not be that bad, but collectively they represent a veritable Chernobyl on the Yellow Line. I have one word for those that utilize public transportation: UNSCENTED. Learn this word, love this word, and buy products that have it prominently displayed. Trust me, everyone on the train/bus will thank you for it. However if you are determined to break out the Cool Water cologne, please do so after you get to the office.

At the Airport:
a. The low cost of cell phones may be the worst thing that has happened to civilization, as we know it. Now that the airlines let individuals use their cell phones as soon as the plane touches down (and are considering in-flight use, perish the thought) people seem compelled to fire them up to let Pookie know that they will be at baggage claim shortly. Guess what? I don’t care what restaurant you and Pookie will be going to when you leave the airport. I have the same feelings concerning the fact that your Grandma lost her dentures. Could not those conversations have waited until you reached the concourse? This is not 1985, when people were carrying around those big brick cell phones on their hips that rivaled the size of Radio Raheem’s boom box. No one cares that you have a cell phone no matter if it’s diamond crusted, ice-out, and frosty. They are just not status symbols anymore. So please keep the conversations to a minimum and the cell phones in your pockets on vibrate. Thank you.

b. I have figured out why the airline industry is struggling. There is obviously an institutionally inherent lack of competent leadership at the top, which leads to spectacularly horrific service provided to the end customer. First, they herd you onto the plane like a bunch of cattle into a seat that is only comfortable for someone under 5’5” and 140lbs. If you are over 6’ you will have a brand (just like cattle) on your legs at the conclusion of your flight where the seat in front of you has cut into your kneecaps. They then proceed to feed you grains (pretzels and snack mix) for any flight less than 3 hours. They lose your luggage, overbook flights, and make you suffer through numerous other indignities; yet are baffled when the customers have beef with them. There are two airlines that shall remain nameless except to say that one has the Southeast on lock and the other does quite a bit a business in the City of Brotherly Love. For the past two major holidays and my past two business trips these airlines have failed to get me out the day (not the time), the day that I was supposed to travel even though I am one of those people that arrives at the airport three hours early for domestic flights; or they have stranded me a location that was not my final destination. All I can say is that the airlines need to get it together or I see some serious government oversight on their horizons.


4. SOUNDTRACK OF MY LIFE. Once again the songs that in some way shaped this column.

“Lord U Know” by Cam’ron. The fact is that I will never purchase a Cam’ron album. I think it has something to do with his affinity for pink coupled with his wanton use of the phrase “no homo” at the end of every other sentence (if you’ve seen recent interview you know what I mean). However, he is always good for one (and only one) blazing track per album. With an assist from Jaheim he puts it down on this track. I like the line, “It wasn’t 9-1-1 / But it was 9-1-1 / Gave him 9 plus 1 / Dropped the dime dun / Told him get his 9 and run.” You have to admit that it is a nice mix of imagery and a deft use of consonance.

“Someday We’ll All Be Free” by Donny Hathaway. This song done by the Howard alumnus just helps me to keep my sanity. Although the story goes, that he broke down after hearing the mix of the final version.

“She Got Kids” by Lyfe Jennings. Unlike that “Baby Mama” song by Fantasia, which I think is one of the worst things to ever grace the radio period, this song is a refreshing change of pace. It adroitly captures the internal struggle, the range of emotions, and the myriad of decisions that men confront when considering whether or not to date a woman that already has children. I found it to be very poignant and timely (don’t ask). The song is beautifully arranged and the message finds the perfect pitch. If you haven’t heard it, I would definitely recommend that you check it out.

“Kill” by Jimmy Eat World. This has nothing to do with the song above for you Pro-Lifer’s out there. The title is a metaphor for the lengths that we will go to for the individual that we consider “the one.” (Look for a whole column on that soon). The sentiment of the song is perfectly summed-up in the last line, “I know what I should do / But I just can’t turn away.”

“I Still Luv You” by T.I. This is kind of like his version of “My Public Apology” that I dropped two editions ago. I give him credit because it takes courage to put your life on display in that manner. “Three kids in two years / Baby, daddy panicked.” Wow!

“Sideways” by Santana (feat. Citizen Cope). “Cause diamonds they fade / And flowers they bloom / But I’m telling you / That these feelings won’t go away.”

“What You Won’t Do for Love” by Bobby Caldwell. Probably the best from the original King of Blue-eyed Soul. Still a favorite, an all-time favorite.

“Might As Well Be Strangers” by Keane. I was listening to this song when I got some news that changed my life. This song and the whole album also helped to get through it. I highly recommend the album if your musical tastes vary beyond the standards of BET and MTV.

That is all for now. Your feedback and comments are always welcomed. Until next time, be good to yourselves and others.

--AIR © 2005